High maintenance

[00:00:00] Hey, listener persons, I'd like to thank you for listening and making the podcast a success. And because of you, we are now monetized. But with that, we do have a shameless ask. We need you to fill out a survey that's in the show notes so we can have sponsorship that's relatable to you. They don't ask or collect any personal info, but it really helps us out. Plus, Jack and I spew enough shit on the show, we don't think you want any more unrelatable shit added on. So please click the link down in the notes below and enjoy yourself on this next episode.

[00:00:30] Shit heb ik tegen mijn kapper gezegd. That's Dutch for, do you want to touch my monkey? No, I think she said you're a shitty hairdresser. Aww. I'm Jason and that's Jack. He stutters, I don't, but I'm massively dyslexic. Both of us are hairdressers with years of stories to tell. And this is Shit I Told My Hairdresser.

[00:01:04] Hello and welcome back everyone to one more episode of the shit. Jack. Hi Jason. How are you? I'm alright. You sound really, really far away. Farther away than normal. Guess where I am. I'll tell you. I'm in Amsterdam. Yeah. I know that. Well, you sound further away than Denver. Yeah, it's a different world here in the Netherlands.

[00:01:32] And not a lot of Americans know where Netherlands is. I'm noticing, you know, right before I left. And so it's right along the coast across from England. And it's right up against, it's wedged in between Belgium and Germany. So. A bit north. Yeah, it's a little windy and it's a little cool. However, it's basically like LA weather right now. So it's. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

[00:02:00] I love how the fact that the sun is going down here in Seattle, but the sun is coming up. Yeah. Yeah. It's real early morning and I'm looking out the window and there's people riding their bikes already to work. Everyone rides a bike or a Vespa or a tiny little car. Yep. I love it. It's really cool. Very compact. Yeah, it's really. I do. But there's really no other way to do it. The roads are narrow and old and it. You're surrounded by canals. It is really old.

[00:02:29] It's this year it's celebrating 750 years. So, yeah. I love it. That's an old city. That's a very old city. I love that. And you know, the last time I was there, God damn, it was at least like 16 years ago. Yeah. Fucking amazing. You know what I mean? So are you, are you high yet? No, I don't. Is it a coffee shop this morning? You know what? So. Too early for you? Everyone. Not everyone. But there's a lot of the coffee shops.

[00:02:57] So if you want a coffee, you don't go to coffee shops. That's marijuana. Exactly. If you want the coffee, you go to the cafe. That's different. You know? So I don't know. It's weird. But you know where the coffee shops are because you just walked down that block and you can smell it. It's maybe one of the strongest smells I've ever smelled. Yeah. Marijuana wise. It's just thick.

[00:03:26] You feel like you smell like that just walking past. But it's like everyone's just like stays away. You know, no one's really walking around smoking it. You know, it's like you're walking behind them. It's like they're not illegal but tolerated. Yeah. Yeah. It's they let you do it and they're nice about it. And people here are really nice. It's a city sort of like New York as far as like hustle and bustle. But it's clean and everyone's nice. I love it.

[00:03:55] See, that's the thing. I remember going out to eat there and everywhere you went and you get a really cool conversation with people. Everyone was just like the I don't know. I remember going there and people were like, hey, this is my first time in Amsterdam. They just walked over and gave you a bud. You know what I mean? Like here you smoke this. I'm like, oh, thanks. Okay. Well, yeah. It happened to me a lot back. But that was like 16 years ago. They're not really doing that. Or maybe I'm not at the places somebody would do that.

[00:04:24] So like I'm not at the bars or anything. So. Right. Well, I'll tell you one thing. Some of the people here are not so nice and a little fucking entitled back here in the United States. That's for sure. I think we got to talk about that today. Yeah. Well, there is a huge difference in people's attitude here and there. So now I'm really noticing it. So like. Well, yeah, you're in the middle of it right now.

[00:04:52] So we're going to talk about someone who's like a client that's like really entitled. Now, when I say that. Yeah. People think like, you know, like, oh, were you late to them? Were they pissed off? You were, you know, late for their appointment. Yeah. Some people get pissed off about that. We have talked about that. That woman would like screamed at me for being 15 minutes. Yeah. Remember it's saying that it was like, I'm sorry. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm sorry.

[00:05:21] You know, that's something kind of entitlement that I'm going to be talking about today with this client. Okay. This one, to make it even worse, she's got an identical twin sister and they're both exactly the same. Okay. So it's hard to tell which one's nice. Usually there's one that's nice and one that's evil. Well, let me make this easier on you. Okay. They're both fucking evil. How can that be? So that's one.

[00:05:50] Let me tell you how. Okay. I'm listening. I mean, I feel like some of the people that come in and they just, they want to treat people like you're a peasant or you're like, you're there to go through and make their life easier because you're of service to them. These are these kinds of people. You remember where I work and you know who my clients were. So yeah. I, they're usually a list, uh, movie stars, not the music people. So, but right.

[00:06:19] Usually it was the movie TV movie people. Yeah. Right. They act like that. Yeah. Well, does that make you an, an A-list servant since you're working on A-list people? I guess it does. That's okay. A-list servant. That's okay. All right. Well, now these people come in and they just treat you like shit. You know what I mean? Like you should be servicing them and bending to every will they have. But there's this one woman, it happened the other day and it was right fucking next to

[00:06:46] me where this woman comes in and she's getting shampooed and the person shampooing them, I guess can never do it right. Cause the woman was just like, Oh my God, you're not doing it right. You're not doing my shampoo right. Oh God. So you know how many I've had of those actually now that you're saying it, I think I've had, but this one seems a little more aggressive though. Oh, you want to know why? Because she, then she grabs the hose out of the person's hand and starts like rinsing

[00:07:14] herself and then tells her to give her shampoo, put it in her hand. And then she shampoos her own head. So basically you're just standing there and you're basically, you're like, you're like the, the, the bathroom attendant, you know what I mean? Like at a hotel or something like that, where you just give them the person's soap, you know, to wash their hands. Yeah. You're now one of those. So wait, so is she now standing up sort of kneeling in the chair and leaning over the bowl? Because I've seen that. She's got this down.

[00:07:44] She's got, she's actually going through and actually putting the hose on her head, laying back. She's laying down. She's laying down. But here's the thing though, because she has the hose, she's getting shit wet everywhere. Yeah. Okay. You know, I would imagine. My client's like, we're quiet. Kind of like, what the fuck is going on? And I'm like, don't get me wet. If you're going to be going through and like doing this shit, don't get me wet. You know? And so, you know, she gets, you know, gets it all done, does the shampoo and goes conditioner.

[00:08:13] And then the girl gives her conditioner and I'm like, what the fuck? What is going on here? Who the fuck does this? Shampoos and kitchens their own hair. Wait, who's washing her hair? Because she is now. No, but who started off washing it? Who doesn't know what they're doing? One of the stylists. One of the girls that works at the salon. She works. She's obviously not very. She's new. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:08:39] Because if somebody pulled that on me, I wouldn't let that happen. She would be gone. Actually. If she resisted. You know what I would do? I would actually probably just give her the shampoo and put the, put that in her lap and the other, put the conditioner in her lap and go, let me know when you're done. I'll be over here at my station. Yeah. That's a good idea. And then just hand her a fucking towel. And start recording. Yeah. When you're done with your shower, come let me know. You know what I mean? I'll be over here having coffee. We'll be watching you.

[00:09:10] So yeah. Bitch. I'll be like. Oh my God. So after this all happens where I'm having lunch and the girl comes in the back and I go, what the fuck was that? And she goes, oh my God, Jason is the woman does it all the time. It's not like the first time she does this all the time. And I've seen her inside the salon, but I've never been back there when she's doing a shampoo. So I've never seen that. Yeah. But I have seen her, you know, inside the salon and she's just this real picky, just like,

[00:09:38] you know, wants things, everything her way. And so I was like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, you know, besides the shampoo, she was like, oh, you ready for this? She said, do you ever notice that she wants a, you know, the little trolleys for the color? Yeah. Yeah. She wants one of those for her laptop. So she's like, well, I'm going to have a trolley for my color. And then she wants one on the other side for her laptop. I'm like, you're joking.

[00:10:03] Well, no, but, um, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't they call them laptops because they go on your lap? Well, you would think, but not hers. Oh, hers is different. Okay. Hers is different. Hers needs to be on an actual little trolley where she can actually then do her work. And she, she's like, that's where I'm kind of like, no, sorry. I can't give you one because other people use the trolleys for color and I can't take one just for your laptop. They're actually in use. Well, let me guess. You know, she makes her, puts it on her lap.

[00:10:32] She throws a foot about it and like, I want one and I want it now. Yeah. It does that. Yeah. Okay. She does that, I guess. I mean, but they never give her one, which I think is kind of funny, but what they will do, she asked. So a while back we have these like blankets inside the salon and when it gets cold, especially in Seattle, the they'll break out some blankets and the clients have them while they're processing for their color.

[00:10:58] So when she actually applies the color, she wants a blanket, but she just doesn't want you to give her a blanket. She wants you to put it in the dryer and get it toasty warm and then bring it out. She has a toasty warm blanket. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, you're kidding. She goes, no. So you work at a full service spa, like you like offer slices of like cucumber and kiwi to

[00:11:27] put over their eyes and you rub their feet and everything. No. She'd go for that though. That's for sure. She would definitely go for it. Yeah. Oh my God. You know what? I would just don't throw it in the dryer, throw it in the microwave and get it real, real, real hot. Yeah. And then just walk it out with like a, you know, gloves on and throw it on her lap. Like what the barbers do with like the hot house. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:11:56] From a distance, just throw it at whack her with it. That's actually. But I'm like, are you fucking. And so I, she was like, yeah. What I tell her now though, cause like she's done it before. Right. They have done it before. So she said, what I tell her now is that the dryer is being used as full of wet towels. Yeah. So that way just give her a blanket and just walk away. But I'm like, Jesus fuck. Are you kidding me? I mean, that's actually hilarious. Yeah. That's actually funny.

[00:12:22] I wonder if she's the type who just wants to see how much she can get away with, you know? Yeah. She may just like push it and then just say like, okay, I got most of the things I wanted. So that's okay. Yeah. And then she'll ask for something else or whatever. But the last thing, the reason I noticed her at Salislawn and her sister, they both talk on the phone on speaker. Okay. So. And it's that.

[00:12:51] It drives me crazy as does most of the world. And, and it's like, no one likes that. I, um, I don't think I've seen that happen once here. They would not put up with that here. No, it's fucking rude. That's why. But it's not just phone calls. It's like, if they're listening to a podcast or you're watching, why would they do? Don't they have it? It's every fucking time they'll sit underneath waiting for their color process.

[00:13:20] And then when they go to the bowl, they have it like shampooed. You know what I mean? And she'll, if she's not shampooing it herself, she's turning up loud. She's just an, especially if she's getting a, getting a toner done or something like that. She'll listen to an asshole. Yes. Wow. Oh, and there's two, by the way, there's two. That's the worst part of it. Oh my God. And do they know each other? Yeah. I don't know. They came from the same room. Maybe they never met and they keep missing each other and they have no idea.

[00:13:50] Or else like, you want to, that bitch that came in last week? That's not me. That's my twin sister. I'm going to be a different kind of bitch when I come in. You're like, yes, you are. But no, they, they, they obviously were raised the exact same way that both have that so entitled. You know what I mean? Nothing like how it is over the Netherlands at all. Nothing like that at all. You know, but these bitches are just like, and like one of the partners of this launch, he just thinks it's funny. He thinks it's funny to watch it all happen. You know, I'm like, that's not funny. Don't let your staff go through this. Yeah.

[00:14:20] That's not cool. No, not at all. You know, but there's some, there's some people out there that it's just like, they'll laugh because they think it's funny because it's not fucking happening to them. Right. You know, but it's happening to your staff asshole. So guess what? No, but he doesn't care about anyone except himself also. So there's a lot of that. There's a lot of that going on there. Then he should be the one doing their hair. So that way he has to go through it. I agree.

[00:15:30] And we're back. All right. So while you're out of town, cause you still sound pretty far away. So I know you still are still over in Holland. So who's taking care of your clients while you're gone? Nobody. They're just waiting on me. Yeah. Why would I have anybody? No. Well, because sometimes people need to get in and you know what I mean? They can't wait the two weeks or whatever it is that you're gone for, you know? No. You ever have like take care of your clients in case? Well, not right now.

[00:15:59] But I have, you know, like you have, you've taken over my neurotic clients, you know? Yes, I have. And how did that go? They were cool though. How did that go? They were cool. I don't mind that kind of stuff. You know what I mean? I really don't. I don't mind having the neurotic like crazy, like I know what I want client. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me are the people who don't know what they fucking want. Yeah. And you take like 20 minutes for a consultation.

[00:16:23] You're like, it's like the person you go to dinner with and they change the menu 15 fucking times because they don't know what they want off the menu or they don't want mayonnaise. They don't want like cucumber in the salad. They don't want tomato touching anywhere near their plate. They're high maintenance. Oh, just you want to let they are high maintenance, but without knowing what they will fucking want, which is the worst part of it. They want it all. Yeah.

[00:16:48] I like the people who are fucking picky and they know exactly what they want and they know exactly how they want to have it executed. I was out of town one time when you were out of town. I was taking your clients. You were on the Madonna tour and I took care of your clients. That was like a good six weeks. So, yeah. Yeah. Somebody had to take over. You know, this is 10 days. I'm gone. So they can wait. Well, I had a guy who took over my clientele while I was gone. I think it was like two or three weeks. I can't remember what I was going to London or something.

[00:17:17] And when I got back, as soon as I walked through the door, he looked at me and goes, fuck you. I'm like, what? He goes, fuck you. Would you book all like your worst clients while I was gone, while you were gone? I'm like, what are you talking about? Oh my God. He's like, you have the worst fucking clientele. And he just didn't know how to handle it. He couldn't handle these people. And I thought he could. I thought he could like, you know, come to the gate. He could not stand up for it. He was, he did not, he could not take it. What are his like?

[00:17:45] I wonder if people are people really, you know, so the chances of him having difficult clients is pretty good too. So. I don't know, but let me tell you, by the time he said, by the time he was done with mine, he would like, he would go home and just drink. You know, he was like, your clients are fucking tough. And I'm like, they are tough. And that's why they come to me. They're tough client. I'm not saying they're, to me, they're not tough. They, they're people who know exactly what they want. These are the guys who get like a haircut every three weeks. Yeah.

[00:18:15] That way they make sure that their hair does not move. And you have it worked out. And so him doing them once for the first time he didn't, maybe he was a little cocky thinking, could have been thinking, Oh, I can do this. You know, it's like, I'm better than Jason. So I, and maybe he is, who knows? Well, apparently he doesn't know what he's doing.

[00:18:39] So, um, yeah, it was so funny though, because this was like, I am very, you are well known for having some of the pickiest guys. I am very well known. And some of the girls that hear the consultations and they're like, Holy shit, how do you deal with that? And to me, I'm like, deal with what? Cause now I'm in Seattle. To me, it's easy. I'm working like four days a week and I have like the nice, to me, they're the nicest people, you know?

[00:19:05] And, and they tip really fucking well, but I'm the type of guy that I don't mind spending 15 minutes just on your fucking bangs. If we're, if we're going to do it, we're going to fucking do it right. And we're going to do it to where you like them. And when you leave, you're usually paying me pretty good. You know what I mean? For a haircut. Tipping me like, I mean, the tips are pretty good. I'm like, you know, sometimes tips are like over a hundred bucks for a haircut because they appreciate you for what you do. Right. And that's why I want you to do it again after that.

[00:19:35] You know, it's like, and they want it to look a certain way. I always understood that because I'm like that about my hair. So I want it to look a certain way. And if somebody is not able to do it, I do it, you know? And I've just given up on everything and just do my own haircuts now. So. But I can't do a fade on me because I mean, I even had the thumb the other day again. You did? I went back to my barber and I think he had like smoked a little too much weed or something. You know what I mean? But I gave me the thumb.

[00:20:04] I was like, dude, you did the thumb again. Maybe that's your best. Oh shit. I'm sorry. Maybe that's your best look. I think so. Maybe that's just what you're destined to be. And I should have stopped him. He was having one of those days where he was like, the salon was kind of busy or his barbershop was really busy. And you know, he just wasn't paying attention. But I'm like, you can't do that. Because he always asked me, he's like, how can you charge this much money inside the salon? I want to come to your salon and check it out. I'm like, yeah, you're more than welcome to.

[00:20:32] But I don't even make clients look like a thumb. I'm like, I'm in charge of people's looks before they go on TV. I got like Seahawks sitting in my chair. Sometimes I got like some of the guys from the Kraken sitting in my chair. These guys are getting interviewed right after you're done cutting their hair. They get their hair cut before they're about to play games. And they know they're going to be on national TV. Yeah. On all the sports channels. So, of course, they're coming in and making sure their hair looks like they're on point. They have to look good.

[00:21:01] Imagine if I made one of the quarterbacks look like a thumb. That's why I charge what I charge. They come and pay for that. Right. And maybe he would have a new nickname on national TV. He's the thumb. Right. You never know. Yeah. I saw your fault. Those are the people that come and sit in our chair. God, I had one guy who, you know, we used to work with in L.A. He came from Dallas. Where's the glasses? And he was saying, hey, have you ever gone through and taken like the trimmers and just

[00:21:31] put a line into the back of someone's head? Like, no, I've never done that. I go, what? Was it a twitch? Like, what happened? He goes, I don't know what happened. I was just cutting this guy's hair and I just put a line right in the back. I mean, like vanilla ice used to have in his eyebrow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. No, I've never done that. What do you mean? He's telling you he accidentally did it or. No, did it. Don't know. It was like a weird thing that he just like a reaction. He just went and did it. Wow. So, you know what?

[00:22:00] I'm like, no. If that doesn't tell you that you ought to go to rehab, I don't know what does. And you start thinking things like that are a good idea. It's like, hey, that's cool. Have you ever done that? Yeah. Put down the weed pipe, man. You get psychosis. Like, I don't know what the hell is going on. But, I mean, that's the thing. I like the picky clients. I had this one guy who used to hold a mirror in the chair and watch me cut the back of his hair just to make sure that I was cutting it the way he wanted.

[00:22:30] And I didn't care. It didn't bother me one bit, you know. Yeah. I'm kind of like, if this is what you like, and if you're paying me really good money to do it, then do it. Did you like the haircut? Yeah. I'm like, did he like to kind of go through and kind of tell me exactly what he wanted? Sure. And everyone's watching like, what the fuck? Yeah. I don't know if I would let that happen. I might let him look at it very often. But while I'm doing it, no. Yeah. I didn't. I don't think I would let that go on. With this guy, he was really, really nice.

[00:23:00] He just wanted to watch me do it to make sure that, you know, I don't know. Maybe it's PTSD or something like that. But he was on a TV show. Maybe that happens once. And that's it. Yeah. One thing. That is one thing is very well known. Do not let the set hairdresser cut your fucking hair. No. Do not. It's very well known. They can make your hair look like whatever the character is in the movie, usually. Right. Not all the time.

[00:23:29] If you want to have a normal haircut, like you want to get trimmed and you're on a movie or a TV show and you ask him, hey, do you mind just cleaning this up? You regret that shit. Immediately. And I can't tell you how many clients that I've had that have been on set who had their fucked up from the set hairdresser. In fact, that happened to one of the clients. It wasn't my client. Ashley was like the manager came over and was like, we're having an emergency haircut. You know, and I actually had a cutting one of the actresses.

[00:23:58] Oh, yeah. The set hairdresser screwed it up. And I had to bring it up a few inches. That was the thing is like some of the people that we're doing, they're going to be on TV. They're going to be in a movie. If you screw it up. I mean, that's when lawsuits start to happen. So that actually, that was a lot of my clients who were actors. They would come in to me to get haircuts and then they would be on shows or movies or whatever.

[00:24:25] And some others, that hairdresser got the credit, but they knew not to let them do the haircut. So. Oh, absolutely not. So there's a lot of haircuts out there in the last 30 years that movies, whatever, you know, that's my haircut, except you wouldn't know it because somebody else took the credit. So. Well, all it takes is someone to style their hair. And when you style it a different way or like the way they want it for on set, boom, it's done. It belongs to them now. So.

[00:24:55] Yeah. You can't. The haircut. They don't say the haircut. It's just like the hair styling was done by this person. And that's where they get the IMDB credit or whatever it is, you know? Sure. Yeah. So. Because I've done it. There's a lot of that. Oh, well, I've done it to where I was like, I was going to have early, early in the morning for an actress to do that 90210 remake. And, you know, that woman that went to jail. Yeah. USC shit. Everyone knows her. Lovely Lori.

[00:25:22] Anyhow, I was I was getting up in the morning at like five o'clock to go do her hair every single morning. So when she went to go do readings, the director and the producer could choose which hairstyle they wanted to have done. Yeah. Right. And so I did that for an entire week and then they picked one that they liked and the set hairdresser learn how to do it. And at least I got paid for the week for getting up that early. Yeah. To go do hair. But, you know, well, I'm not part of the union.

[00:25:52] So it was just kind of like, whatever. You know, Neither was I. So there was a movie I worked on that Sofia Coppola movie. I had to do haircuts in hotel rooms when it was filming in Los Angeles because the set hairdressers wouldn't let me go on to their hair trailer to do haircuts because I wasn't union. They're assholes actually too. And they are. They are.

[00:26:17] So finally, when production moved to Milan, Italy, they just took me with them and there was no union there. It's all mafia shit. So I got the credit. I did everyone's hair or the actors, the main actors anyway, even Dorf and L. All standing. So then I got the credit. But the funny part of it, though, is that you're actually in the movie as well. And I was in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. That was in L.A. You did hair on the movie. Exactly.

[00:26:46] I was acting like a hairdresser. Right. And I don't think I did all that well. I just wanted me to act like it. And I was like, I don't know how to act like it. I just do it. So. Right. Oh, my God. What was that film? Somewhere. By Sofia Coppola. Yeah. But that little. So if you want to see Jack in the film. Yeah. If you want to see Jack on the film, you'll see somewhere. That little. Get to nowhere. Get to nowhere. There's only like two little scenes is what it is.

[00:27:15] But I'm cutting this topless model's hair on the fire escape at the Chateau Marmont. That scene made no sense to me. I don't know. I watched it. Do you know what it was? Well, because who's that photographer? Herb Ritz? Is that? Yeah. So he died in a crash, maybe like a month before that, right outside of the hotel. So Sofia was doing kind of this homage, you know. So he has like a famous photo where he's cutting.

[00:27:45] Someone has just cut this model's bangs and she was topless. And there's like little cut hairs all over her nose, all over her boobs, all over her shoulders. And she was doing that for him. Huh. All right. So now, you know, if you watch the movie somewhere. Yeah. Like got Jack nowhere. You'll know why the scene was shot that way. I'm a movie star.

[00:28:14] And now it's time for Shitology Coffee Shop Sessions. For all those high maintenance clients, here's a new price list just for you for your haircuts. $100 extra per hour if you sit there quietly. $200 extra if you want to watch and hold a mirror. $300 if you want to help. And $400 extra if you worked on your hair previously at home. Prostitution, marijuana, same-sex marriage.

[00:28:43] All legal here. You know what's also legal here? Pushing those assholes into the canal who walk around talking on their speaker phones. Amsterdam. Don't pull that shit here. By the way, if you like blowing your nose and wiping your hiney with what feels like notebook paper, this is the place for you. It's my kind of town. And with that. Stay shitty. Stay shitty. Hey, listener persons. Thanks for listening.

[00:29:13] And if you like our show, please help us grow the podcast by giving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Prime, or wherever you get your favorite shit. It definitely helps our algorithm, and it's free to do. If you'd like to get your story on our podcast, go to our website at shititoldmyhairdruster.com, where you can get your voicemail on our show by using the green mic icon. Or you can send us an email at info at shititoldmyhairdruster.com. And if you like us, tell 10 of your friends.

[00:29:43] And if you hate us, tell 20. And remember, stay shitty, listener persons.

[00:30:25] And enjoy yourself on this next episode.