Resting Ozempic face

[00:00:00] Did you know I just started on Ozempic? Why, dude? You don't even lose any weight. I'm doing it for the pre-epism. Pre-epism? What the fuck is that? It's the most wonderful side effect ever. Persistent and painful erections lasting hours. Really? Yeah, I can't wait. I'm Jason, and that's Jack. He stutters, I don't, but I'm massively dyslexic.

[00:00:27] Both of us are hairdressers with years of stories to tell, and this is Shit I Told My Hairdresser. Hi. Hello. Welcome, Jack. It's another episode. It sure is. Yeah. I can't wait for that. We're always bringing something funny, you know, or something very, very disturbing like we did a couple of weeks ago.

[00:00:54] I think a lot of people were very disturbed by the freak-off doggy style episode. I was disturbed by that episode, that's for sure. But I think a lot of people were mentioning that they were quite disturbed about this episode a couple weeks ago. They liked it, though? They did. It was interesting, but they couldn't believe their ears. Yeah. That was a lot of the comments that I did here.

[00:01:20] So if you do have any comments, please go through. You guys, you have been doing an amazing job so far. Give us a like. Give us a comment on wherever you get your podcast. Make sure that you go through and give us a nice rating. Say something about us on there, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, wherever you get your podcast. But let us know how you're feeling, as I'll tell you how I'm feeling this week. I've been actually pretty ill this week.

[00:01:49] And I don't know if you can hear it. Can you hear my voice? Yeah. Yeah. I lost my voice last week. It was kind of hard doing clients all week long. And so if it goes out, my wife's been happy. She's been happier that my voice isn't left. But listen, losing your voice will make me hit the like button. So, um, right. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Well, we wouldn't have another episode. So if I sound a little weird, that's like, if you'd like that, I lost my voice. Give us a little like, whatever you want to do. I just did.

[00:02:19] I just liked it. Wow. So besides losing my voice, uh, we got to talk about a lot of, a lot of other losses that have been happening. People coming inside the salon, a lot of loss and they're getting their O face. Oh face. Yeah. You mean orgasm face, right? I wish, I wish I was saying I meant orgasm face. Yes. I wish you're rubbing one out before they hit the chair. Maybe they're, maybe they rub one out in your chair.

[00:02:49] Well, I'm all right with that. I don't mind it. Depends on who it is. Yeah. I think so. Um, but no, I'm talking about a Zempic face. Have you had that? Yeah. Now that you mentioned, okay. Yeah. Dude. I know where you're heading with this. And it all, it's a little disturbing actually. And Oh, you think, especially if you've looked at someone for like a long time and then suddenly

[00:03:18] they, they lost a lot of weight in their face. It looks like getting out of chemotherapy. So it basically, what it is, is people are on a Zempic and it's all over the place. You start looking on social media and just type in like Ozempic face or anything like that. It is fucking scary. Who's doing it. I mean, it's everywhere. And what's happening is they're losing so much weight so fast that their body can't keep up with it. Cause normally when you're losing weight, you hit the gym and you start losing the weight.

[00:03:47] You might keep on some like water weight, whatever it is. But as you lose the weight, just your fat and your skin moves together. Right. And so you just slowly start your, your face, our scenario, your belly, our scenario, not this. Oh, Zempic goes straight for the fat. Because it's happening rapidly, you know, so fast. So your skin can't keep up. No, I've seen extreme versions of this on like Dr. Now it's really kind of weird. Yeah.

[00:04:16] And you ought to watch that. So it's how many of your clients have been coming in with that? Quite a few. I mean, they come in and it's like when you first started doing that, I mentioned it because when they come in, they look sickly. I think that you're supposed to act like they're not on it or don't ask, don't tell sort of thing, you know? Well, no, because now everything has to change. You know what I mean? The whole haircut has to change.

[00:04:45] It's not like I'm asking someone if they're pregnant. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, which you've done before. I remember in the break room, you asked one of the girls one time if she was pregnant, she was like, I had my baby six months ago. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. I would never do that. But it's not like it's not like something like that. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. OK, it's not something like it's not something like that. All right. This is like they come in and I'm like, oh, my God, are you OK? Because literally I was looking at them. But I'm like, are you on medication? Like, what's going on? Because your face is completely changed.

[00:05:15] Because now I have to go through and redo the entire haircut because they have like what was their thing is like they look gaunt like they're like almost like hollow. Yeah. Well, weird. Like their jaws are really pronounced. I think what happens is they just look drawn and then saggy, I guess. I don't know. Is it's really saggy. It's like around the jawline, the cheeks, the skin is like you see these like massive wrinkles coming. They don't even look like themselves anymore.

[00:05:42] Oh, I would imagine that their iPhone doesn't know who they are. They don't even recognize anymore. Yeah. Yeah. So like they have to type in their password every time. And it's they don't even think about why. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now they're like, is this you or Skeletor? We don't know who it is. Literally, you look, I mean, half these clients are coming in looking like the fucking crypt keeper now. You know what I mean? I'm like, holy shit. But it makes your lips go really narrow.

[00:06:11] So that's the thing. When you get older, you get wrinkled. You know, it's like like. Sure. Yeah. So you either live with that or you gain weight and you fill in. So that's really what the tradeoff is. But getting older, I've heard, you know, like I've heard. I've heard. I wouldn't know. I was born in the 90s, you know, so. Anyhow. I'm Gen Z. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. So here's what is actually happening.

[00:06:39] So all the fat, they're losing all the fat really, really fast. So the skin doesn't know where to go. So it's just sagging. So they're sitting in the chair and they have like these sunken in eyes. Right. They're getting like prominent, like their bone structure is completely changing. So like jawlines, you see their bones throughout their face. The lips are getting like super thin and the skin is just sagging. So when I'm sitting in my chair now, you know, because we do haircuts around your face shape.

[00:07:07] So we're either going through and we're trying to hide or we're trying to like, you know, bring something out. But when you're looking like this, you know what I mean? It's just kind of like, I mean, the way I look at someone's face, I'm always looking at their forehead, their eyes, their lips, their jawline and their neck. Right. And so if I'm going to have to go through and try to hide everything, I'm not just blow dry everything just forward. You know, you want to recommend like a recommend a hoodie. Yeah. And reverse something. Yeah. Yeah. Just poke some holes in the back of that hoodie and like look through the through the holes.

[00:07:37] Then who? So wait, who are these people? Are they ones who were like really heavy and how they're losing a lot of weight? Like, like what does the rest of them look like? These are normal people. I mean, they're like, I didn't think they were overweight. They just want to be thin. I just want it because everyone's doing it now. Everyone's doing it. Yeah. What idiots. Exactly. So they're all just coming in. They're having it done. I mean, it's across the board. I mean, people who like, you know, like, oh, hey, I have like literally like 20 pounds in vanity weight.

[00:08:07] Yeah. They're taking off. And the next thing you know is like you look at them in the face and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. And then I'm going through and I'm like, hey, we have to change your haircut now because either your lips are too thin. I need to bring those out a little bit more. Like your forehead is like sagging down over your eyes. I'm like, what the fuck? You know? So it's like. They need more. I don't know if your haircuts kind of help all that, but. All right. Yeah. They may. They'll have more issues anyway.

[00:08:34] Don't they have like some serious side effects? Like, do you even know what they are? I know it's like, you know, basically they're saying that there's not. You know what I mean? But you know, it's a. You know, it's affects your kidneys. Everything has. Everything does. Every. Everything has. I remember like back when we started doing hair, the biggest thing where the weight loss thing was fen fen. Which basically was like methamphetamines. Yeah. Yeah. It's in the name. I mean. Yeah. I remember that.

[00:09:04] That was like about 20 something years ago. And it fucked with that one. Fucked with your brain, though. You know what I mean? And then everything. Everyone thought it was fine to do that. And then also do coke at night. So no one slept. Yeah. No. And they were just fucking completely fucking off there. They were. Well, this was about the time everyone was getting extensions because they were losing all their hair. Yes. From living like that. You know.

[00:09:32] And that's another side effect as well, though, too, from the Slazempic. Oh, I've heard that. I have heard. Yeah. Yeah. I've even seen it. And, you know, it's just really amazing what people will put up with to lose weight. Yeah. To easily lose weight. That's the thing. You can lose weight. They won't just go to the gym. You know, it's like. No. No. They don't want to stop eating what they're eating. Whatever it is. And that's what's happening. It's like you look like the Crypt Keeper.

[00:10:02] You're losing all your fucking hair. You know. And so then they come to you and they're like, fix me. And I mean, you're like, whoa. I can't. They even know about all this and they take it anyway. Yeah. Yet they won't like take the COVID shot. It's amazing. No, but I mean, everyone's like, you know what? I'm glad I lost the weight. I'll just kind of deal with this afterwards. And I'm like, so you're spending money on the Ozempic. Now it's afterwards. Yeah. Now you're now it's after. Now you get us.

[00:10:30] Now you're tapering off and you go, maybe my hair will come back. I'm like, you realize you just create a whole new set of problems. Right. And like, what are you going to do in the meantime? I mean, you got to get extensions done to make your hair look like it was literally a couple of months ago. Now what the plastic surgeons are saying is that you put in fillers so that way your skin doesn't sag the way that it does. Oh, and one of the funny things as well, the two. Have you seen their ass? It's like they have a diaper butt. A diaper butt.

[00:10:58] Yeah, I mean, it's because their butt is sagging now too. Cribe it like a pancake or something. Yeah. But the diaper butt. Yeah. That sums it up really. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't have like dirty diaper. Like you're just kind of sagging, you know? The reason they're doing this really is they want to be attractive, I think. You know, it's like and it's nothing about, oh, being really overweight, not healthy. They're not thinking about that. I don't think, you know. Maybe the extremely heavy ones.

[00:11:28] But these are the ones who just, they want to wear their size five jeans again, you know, or whatever. Yeah. That's all it is. And at what cost, really? You're losing your hair. How do you have to get like tux and fillers and everything? Go to the doctor for that. Well, you have to go to the plastic surgeon and get the Ozempic or wherever you're going to. So they're making their money on the front end. And then you got to go get the fillers afterwards. They're making their money on the back end. You know what I mean?

[00:11:56] So it's just like all you do is making someone else rich and you're fucking up your health. If you're losing your hair because you're losing weight so fast, what else are you doing to your other organs? It's basically malnutrition. That's what's happening. If you're losing your hair like that, you know, it's like and it's expensive to do all this, you know. Oh, very. Yeah. The cleanup after all the damage you did.

[00:12:19] You could have just taken all that money, bought some cute workout clothes at Lululemon and go to the gym. That's it. That amount of money and you would have felt better like that. So instead, enjoy your diaper, but. And we're back. All right.

[00:12:43] So we're going to go in the way, way back machine back when you and I used to work in Valley View Mall in Texas. And this wasn't me. Yes, it was you. Oh, OK. I don't remember that. Many, many years ago in a galaxy far, far away. Yeah. You and I worked at a salon in the Valley View Mall in Dallas, Texas. Right off the LBJ freeway. This is the one and only time we will even talk about this one then.

[00:13:13] So it was actually the last one I got when I got out of the assistant program where you and I met. Yeah. We started working at the exact same salon together. They forced me to work with you. I was 30 years ago now. God, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. So, yeah. I remember they were trying to go through and make this a better salon. And there was a lot of weirdos that worked there. And it was like an old mall.

[00:13:41] And back in the day, there was these salons called Regis. Yeah. There was one downstairs in the lower part of the mall. And we would get a shit ton of redos from that salon. They had all the smoky windows, you know, and brass. Oh, God. That's what the salon looked like. And it smelled like perm solution always. I've never been inside one. I don't think I even walked past that one. Yeah.

[00:14:10] But a woman came into the salon and she had just gotten her haircut there. And they went and got me as I was on my lunch break. And they asked me if I could fix a haircut. They said it wouldn't take long. And so I walked over and I took a look. It was a bob. And it was off by like a half an inch. And she was like, you just had it cut downstairs at the Regis salon. And I go, well, why don't you have something to fix it? And they said, well, I had to book a different appointment. They had someone else. So they just rushed through my haircut.

[00:14:39] And now it's uneven. I need to get it fixed. I'm like, they wouldn't even fix it. And she goes, no. She has to make another 10 minute appointment. Yeah. Yeah. No, it didn't even take me that long. It literally took me all of like maybe because it was already blown out. That's why it looks like how it does. It's, they spent about 10 minutes. So of course I'm like, yeah, I'll sit down.

[00:15:04] I put a cape around her and I literally just put the comb inside there and take off. Not barely like a, I don't know, core of an inch or so. And it was even no problem. Super easy. I'm like, okay. So there you go. Took the cape off, blew the rest of the hair off of her. And we, I walk her up to the front and she goes, how much do I owe you? And I go, oh God, nothing. My, how, what am I going to charge? Literally, I had you in my chair for not even like five minutes. You know, it's like bang trims. You know what I mean?

[00:15:34] I don't charge for that. If you're one of my clients, you know, even if you're not one of my clients, you, maybe you'll become my client. It's just more of the satisfaction that someone had to come in to our salon to get something fixed that happened down the hall. Yeah. And that would happen all the time, actually. It did. Yeah. It did happen all the time. You just do it. You smile and you're like, you came to the right place. We were arrogant. You know, it's like. Oh, totally. It was, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:16:02] So I, I hand her my business card and I said, tell you what, just come and see me next time for your haircut. How's that? You know, no payment, no nothing. Just come and see me next time. And the woman goes through and I see her eyes kind of start to well up and she grabs me. She hugs me. And I'm like, okay. It's like, I give her, you know, a hug back, you know, but she's not letting go. And now she's starting to cry. And I'm like thinking to myself, like. What would you do now? Well, no, but I'm like, oh my God, like what's going on here? You know what I mean? I'm like, I just like.

[00:16:32] I just fixed your haircut. Right. And she starts to talk to me and she was just like about six months ago, someone shot my son. And I have been with the police trying to go through and find this killer. They're not helping. They're not doing anything about it now. It's like just turn into like a cold case. No one's helping me. She's like, and I don't have my son anymore. She was, I just thought there wasn't. You didn't ask her any of this, did you? Right.

[00:17:01] No, but she was like, I just didn't think there were other nice people out there anymore. Yeah. And she was like, and you're kind of giving me a bit of hope. And I was like, oh my God. Who knew something that's nice. Can like touch somebody. You know what I mean? I didn't know what she was going through or what kind of a day she was having. We have people walk in. Yeah. I have no idea. He might've been like a time bomb, you know, it's like, yeah, but she was just an emotional wreck really. And you triggered it.

[00:17:30] So yeah. Which you to be nice to someone. Yeah. She dried up her tears and you know, she left the salon. You know what I mean? But you know, when clients walk inside the salon, you see their face, you're like, Ooh, you've had a shitty day. Haven't you? You know, or, you know, it's like, come on, have some coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Right. You know, it's just like, you know, they're, and they're totally fine after they deal with us, you know what I mean? And we fixed their haircut and, you know, so it was just one of those stories that happened and, and it was just like, you want to watch the nice people.

[00:18:00] I get it. You know, back and everything. Yeah. Oh, I did her hair for until I left Dallas. Okay. I moved to California. And so that's why it's worth it. You know, I, yeah. I moved to California and I remember I was just finishing my teacher's training and I was moving on to be an art director. And when you're training up to be an art director, you have to talk in front of people. And sometimes it could be hours because one haircut inside the salon can take an hour, right?

[00:18:30] That's how long I take is about an hour, right? Well, when you're doing it in front of people and you're explaining the entire haircut, some of that, it can be an hour and a half, almost two hours as you're doing a demo. Yeah. So what they wanted to make sure is that you could talk that entire time as you're doing a demo. And you also had good, like stories or antidotes or whatever it was, inspirational things that happened to you. So the salon, so you could pass that along to somebody else. They want you to be entertaining. Exactly.

[00:18:59] You know, but knowing, we've all been doing like a haircutting class or, you know, for normies out there, you've been to like trainings for your work and it's like, okay, we could have got this all done in an email. Why the fuck am I here all day? Yeah. You know? So they wanted to make sure that we can go out there and like entertain people at the exact same time, but also be inspirational. And so when I was going through and working on my speech, I had to give the, you had to

[00:19:27] go through and give a speech that was almost close to a half an hour. And so I went in front of the entire art team and I gave my speech and one part of my story was that story about the woman that comes in and I just clean her up and she tells me about the son that was shot and the whole story. That's a good story. Sure. It's a good inspirational story. And it's just kind of like, here's how we build a clientele. We create these connections inside the salon of these people. Right. Yeah. And so it was like, it went over really well.

[00:19:57] Everyone loved that story. They're like, oh my God, that's going to be like almost like a tearjerker kind of a story. And it was, you know, a lot of people found like a lot of use for that story. Great. So as I go through and I become an art director, of course, at that point, bedhead explodes. All right. And then next thing you know, we are traveling everywhere and we're doing seminars. I mean, everywhere all over the world. Yeah. Well, one of the top guys in the United States, I become his like right hand man.

[00:20:26] And we are going everywhere and we're traveling and doing shows everywhere. I mean, I remember one time it was actually in Chile doing a show down South America and he called and says, I need you in Vancouver, Canada the day after you get back. You know? So I remember like crossing the equator, landing in LA and then the next morning, boom, I'm Vancouver. Yeah. Wow. Well, I know in Canada and it was just like, that was, I was like, I was right there all

[00:20:55] the time, you know? And so we were going through and we were doing a show and this guy was very well known for his like inspirational speeches and talks and motivating hairdressers. You know, the type, you know, there's a, there's a ton of them out there. Every fucking hair show has like 10 that show up. Part of it's his accent. They like, so. The accent, you know what I mean? But he's, he was kind of known for that.

[00:21:23] And so one day we're all on stage and he goes into his motivational rant. I'm going to call it a rant now. And he starts, he's, he's going for it and he starts telling the story about how he was doing this, fixing this woman's hair. And at the end of the haircut, guess what? Her son has been shot. And I, I turned around and I stopped doing my haircut. Wait a second. He's using your story.

[00:21:53] It's so like, it wasn't one that's like yours. It is yours. No, it was mine. It was my story. He, wow. He didn't even let you do it. No. Oh no, no, no, no. Not only that, he stopped. When I stopped the haircut and I looked at him like, what the fuck are you doing? He's gave me a wink. I was like, son of a bitch.

[00:22:18] You're using my story before I could use it during the same fucking seminar. Right. Right. Why would he do that? What a motherfucker. I swear to God. God, that, so. So I'm sitting here going like, holy shit. Now I got, now I got to think of something else to say. Oh my, holy fuck. That was fucked up. Um, you talk about how there's a guy who you work with who steals your shit. That's what you should have talked about. I know, right?

[00:22:48] And, and, and you get home and you look for a new job, but, um. Right. Well, you know, at the end, I remember like afterwards, you know what I mean? We all like went out for like a beer or something like that, you know? And, and I looked at him and I go, Hey, that's a good story. Isn't it? He goes, yeah, it is. Isn't it? Never said a word. Nothing. Nothing. That was it. Just walked away from me. Cause he, I was like, okay. Okay. Does he think that's not yours? That you took that from someone else? And then he, he employed me.

[00:23:16] So since he employed me, everything that is exactly. Cause that's based when we work for that company, that's what they would do. We do photo shoots. They would use our work and put it out there for advertisements. Yeah. We wouldn't get paid for that. You know what I mean? We got paid. And then come and do a photo shoot, but that was it. So they took all of our work. And I know that guy who you're talking about anyway, because I worked with him too. He hasn't, um, there's really nothing original about this guy. No.

[00:23:44] So it's like he takes from other people. So like even me, I've noticed. Um, but if there wasn't any, anybody around him, he would have no content. You know what I mean? It's like, he can't come over the original, but I knew at that moment, I knew at that moment though, that I could never use that story again. Cause he then made it his own. And I wouldn't doubt it to this day. If you still fucking using it, cause he used it for probably so. Yeah.

[00:24:11] He used it for years and he'd always beat me to the punch. Whenever we were working together, he'd start telling the story way before I even got to it. Cause you know, you know, when the other person's going to be saying something, you know what I mean? So it was like, yep. So like he wanted, uh, and thing is he's amused at this too. He laughs at it. He thinks it's funny to like steal someone else's spotlight, you know, like it's all about him. He's an asshole, you know? Yeah.

[00:24:40] This is a guy who we've, you've worked for some of these guys and besides him, there's other people out there for different companies. And they all have that one motivational speaker that kind of comes in and is the closer for the show or some shit like that. You know, they all have them. And this is what I mentioned about, like why I'm so critical about these companies. Like I've seen behind the scenes, I've seen how I make the sausage and it's not pretty.

[00:25:06] And most importantly, I've seen who's making the sausage and they're just as ugly. Yeah. And we've all worked for them. And that's the thing is like, whenever it thinks like they think it's original content, a lot of the times it's not, they steal from over here and they steal from over there. Then they kind of try to pack it up and put in this weird little bow and they try to sell it to you. And they're always the little motivational hairdressing speaker.

[00:25:32] Who's going to change your life by this program and guarantee you'll be the best hairdresser you'll ever be. You know, it's like bullshit. Who do you mean? I want to hear names. No, I'm not mentioning names. Come on. We all, we all know who they are. Every job has one. It doesn't matter who it is. It doesn't matter what field you're in. We all have one of those shitheads that kind of comes in and kind of closes the deal and, you know, has the motivational speak and I just go fuck yourself.

[00:26:01] They're all the same losers. All right. It's time for your moment of shit with shitology. Hey, enough of this taking the easy way out by popping a pill or taking a shot. Unless you enjoy having hair loss, diarrhea and sudden peg leg. Yeah, I said peg leg. Look it up. It's on the list. Maybe. And this is just a thought.

[00:26:30] You could exercise just one thing. Your willpower not to eat so fucking much. Are you tired of these inspirational hairdressers and their bullshit stories? Their bullshit stories. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Can you stop that? Can you stop that? I'm gonna fuck this. I'm fucked it. Are you done? Are you done? I guess we are now. I guess we are now. And with that. What about that?

[00:26:59] Stay shitty. Stay shitty. Jesus, dude. Jesus, dude. Fuck off. Fuck off. Hey, listener persons. Thanks for listening. And if you like our show, please help us grow the podcast by giving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Prime, or wherever you get your favorite shit. It definitely helps our algorithm and it's free to do.

[00:27:25] If you'd like to get your story on our podcast, go to our website at shititoldmyhairdruster.com where you can get your voicemail on our show by using the green mic icon. Or you can send us an email at info at shititoldmyhairdruster.com. And if you like us, tell 10 of your friends. And if you hate us, tell 20. And remember, stay shitty, listener persons.