An exceptional piece of shit Ep#73

[00:00:00] Hey, your client just called and cancelled. Why? He died. How do you know? He left a message. Oh

[00:00:20] And welcome back to another episode of Shit. I'm gonna tell you. Nice. Shit I told my Hairdresser. Tell me, Jason. I'll tell you, I'll tell you all kinds of things. I have a five-year-old now. Yeah, I heard. Today's his birthday. Today is my son's birthday.

[00:00:41] Okay, which means he's five years old now, which means he can be able to wipe. Well, yeah, and also wipe his own scroach. That's what he calls his butthole. Oh, really? Scroach. He calls it a scroach. Who taught him that? I have no idea. I think grandma must have done that. I think so, too. Yeah. She also loves it when he runs around the house saying Jesus Christ. She loves it. Or God damn it. Yeah, she's a big churchy son. Does he do that? Really?

[00:01:11] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah. My wife taught him that. So. I am famous for calling people idiots in the car when I'm driving. The way I say it, I go, idiot. Idiot. And so now he says that. He says idiot like that, too, which is kind of awesome. Especially when a five-year-old says, he still can't pronounce three properly. So when he goes, just idiot. It's kind of funny. Yeah. Well.

[00:01:34] It's just nice having a five-year-old around. So he's getting a little bit older now. And it's been rad. And I like spending a lot of time with him. And there are certain people that take that time away from me. Oh. If you know what I mean. You mean like me? Not you. Oh. Oh. Not you. No, your Uncle Jack. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. You're talking to me. No, I'm talking about people who cancel on you last minute or no show. Oh, clients.

[00:02:04] Clients. People who don't go through and respect your time. Well. Who think they just don't have to show up. They're the main reason we have a cancellation fee. It's not important. And ours is like pretty. Ours is a pretty big. Like we have to make you sign something. We actually have. We ask for an electronic signature that we actually send out via email when you book an appointment. So that way it's like, you know, we have it within like 48 hours if you cancel or 24 hours, you're charged a certain amount.

[00:02:33] Day of, you're going to be charged 100%. Sure. Yeah. And there's people out there that try to get out of trying to go through and pay. I call it the asshole tax. You know what I mean? It's like if you're not going to show up for an appointment or I mean, I know certain things do happen. Things do happen. Yeah. So and that's actually a reason why you would just make sure things don't happen.

[00:02:57] And like if you know you have to pay for it, if you were going to your doctor and something happened, you're like, oh, shit. You may want to call them immediately and tell them why. And they may charge you anyway. Yeah. So I had my therapist charge me when I was sick. I've had like a massage therapist charge my wife for having COVID. You know what I mean? It's like it's out of her control. But it's like you want to want that you had that appointment. And it was within the hours or the time frame that they set up during those parameters.

[00:03:26] You got to pay for it. And I get it. It's just it is what it is. You got to realize, you know, it's like you're charging them for what they did. How many other people have to suffer for what they do? So the consequences of their actions. That's really what it's about. And that's exactly what it is. As I've had people go through and call up saying like, I'm going to go to happy hour with my friends. I'm going to miss my appointment. I'm like, yeah. And you're going to be charged for it, too. Happy hour. You know, so when I want to hang out with my friends, I'm like, yeah, cool.

[00:03:56] But I'm still going to charge you for my time. I had one girl said she was going to go on a hike. She was invited to go on a hike. So she can't make an appointment. I'm like, and you'll be charged. You know, enjoy your hike. It's going to be a very expensive one. Why? Exactly. But we wonder why. Of course, they always wonder why. So did they, you know, and they all of a sudden they show up there or. Of course. And they pissed and they're pissed off getting a haircut. You know, I'm like, all right, well, we just be really quiet and just sit here in silence and I'll cut your hair. Have a nice day.

[00:04:25] You made the appointment anyway. It's like. Yeah. No one forced you. What are you mad at? Right. But I had a guy go through and call the front desk. He has missed an appointment before. He has been charged for it and got really angry about it. And he calls up, tells the front desk that he had a legitimate excuse. And this was his granddaughter had died. And I was like, so the front desk comes to me and I'm like, whoa, okay. There's no way I can charge for that.

[00:04:55] You know what I mean? I'm like, that's fucking serious. You know what I mean? That's not like, you know. My guys go and tell him, go ahead and cancel and hope everything's okay. I want to say about a couple of weeks go by and he makes another appointment and he comes in for the haircut. And I asked him how his granddaughter was, you know, not, that's not what I said, but how I said, how's your family? Kind of alluding to the granddaughter and everything that happened. He goes, oh, everyone's doing really, really great. You know, everyone's happy and healthy. And I'm like, okay.

[00:05:24] I'm like, so now I'm getting kind of curious. I'm like, so how's your granddaughter? He goes, oh, he pulls out his phone. He goes, let me show you the pictures. You know? Oh, God. Big old, like, chubby, cute little baby. No. She was alive and she's fine. Oh. Yeah. So you're looking at the photo and it's like, oh, so you had an open casket? What do you mean? How much are the small ones? How much are the small ones now for babies? You know what I mean? Yeah. Start asking how the funeral went and he's like, what are you talking about? I couldn't say.

[00:05:54] Literally, I was like inside. I'm fuming. Yeah. But I'm like right in the middle of his haircut. I'm like, what am I supposed to stop? You know what I mean? I was like, what a dick. I think maybe something should have been said about that then. Yeah. You know what I mean, though? I mean, I do his hair, do his wife's hair. I'm like, I'm just not going to mention it. I mean, he's got like three hairs on his head. He's got like. That's insane. I have like two more than he does. You know what I mean? So I'm like. A family member died. That's a little. A baby. Crazy. No, a baby.

[00:06:24] It's a little bit. You used your granddaughter to get out of your asshole tax. Yeah. Because he didn't want to make it. You know. Yeah. The thing is, he asked you to be there at that time to cut his hair. And then he changes his mind. He doesn't want to pay for the haircut. Yeah. Waiting on him. It's like, oh, so what do I do now? How do I make the money I would have made? You know. Now you have to sell drugs. Exactly. Yeah. Say what he's doing. He's like.

[00:06:53] He's causing all kinds of fucking problems. This guy. Turning you to crime. You know what I mean? I got 77 messages. And let me tell you something. I'm going to go through and I'm going to try to go through and filter through some of the best ones. But some of these were some like.

[00:07:21] Just ramble off. There was some chestnuts, man. They were so good. Do the best of. I know. So I did. I kind of filtered through some of them. But here was one. I had a client that she told me that the reason she couldn't come in for her appointment is because she got polio. Okay. Polio. Yeah. I mean. And then she was like. Then she came in. The next time she came in, they just never talked about it. She never said a word like nothing.

[00:07:51] You know what I mean? Okay. But here's the thing. When you get polio, how do you know you got it? Listen. It's not something where you wake up and you're like, God, I feel like I got the polio. Right. It feels like a polio kind of a day. I think I got polio off the doorknobs at the whatever. You know, it's like you're diagnosed and it's like, you know, ahead of time, doctors like we need to test for polio. Correct. Because it's looking like that. Oh, no. But when does it look like that?

[00:08:21] You have a week or so to even think about that. When does it look? Yeah, exactly. You literally have to have paralysis in like your hand or your foot or your leg or something for a doctor, especially nowadays. It'd be like, it could be polio. Because I actually read up on polio. And the first symptoms is a flu-like symptom. So right now, if you got something that looked like the flu, you're not thinking, oh, God, it's polio. You're thinking, it's the flu. Right. Not polio. Well, that's a good one.

[00:08:48] But then all of a sudden it's like, you know, you wake up and your foot doesn't work. You know what I mean? You're paralyzing your foot. You're kind of like, you know, walking around like. Yeah, this is more than the flu or whatever, you know. Right. Okay. So I was like, really? So anyhow, polio is a good one. All right. It's okay now, though. Yeah, it's totally fine. Okay, good. Good. Walking on, you know, both legs, both legs, arms work. You know, come and get her hair done. So hey. All right. Well done. See here.

[00:09:17] Another guy who, oh, I've had this before. This guy was a doctor who was extremely entitled and he was late for an appointment, about 30 minutes. And he actually turned up for his appointment. And when he got there, he told the stylist that he was out having coffee with his wife and was enjoying the conversation. And that took more priority over the haircut. And then she looked at him and said, really? Turned him down for the haircut? Said, I don't have time for you anymore. And then charged him.

[00:09:45] And you've had that one. I did have that one. You've had that one almost exactly. Exactly. I can't believe I was reading this. Yeah. I was like, that's amazing because that actually happened to me before as well. You wrote that. No. It wasn't me. I love it. You wrote it to yourself and emailed it. But this guy, the guy that I had wasn't a doctor. He was just a piece of shit. How do you know the difference? Lawyer. Okay. Piece of shit. Yeah. So there you go. Enough said. No, but I mean, I was like, that's kind of amazing. I love that.

[00:10:15] Oh, boy. Yeah. And the guy was shocked that he was like, I'm not cutting your hair. And by the way, we're charging you. That just really tells you. So he might as well have walked in and said, no one cares about you at all. You're not important. Because you're some low-life piece of shit hairdresser. Exactly. Mm-hmm. You're not important. Now, cut my hair. Fucking elitist doctor attitude.

[00:10:37] So the next one is, I had a client who was always canceling last second, showing up late, and always had some crazy excuse. And one day, I called her because she was running late to ask her if she was planning on coming in. She told me that she rear-ended a school bus full of children and wouldn't make it in. My receptionist and I were talking about all of her excuses she came up with are getting crazier and crazier. And that I had to fire this client, and I couldn't believe that she told me that.

[00:11:05] It was later that day, the receptionist shows me on Facebook a local group about women that Prius hit a school bus full of children that day. So we both couldn't believe it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But you've already cried wolf how many times? Maybe. Maybe all of them are true. Some are. There are some people out there who crazy shit happens to them all the time.

[00:11:31] They are drama magnets, and they love it, or they hate it, or they just love having it. Obviously, they do nothing to make it not happen. So it happens to them all the time. So maybe this woman's not lying about her crazy shit. Well, I guess we're never going to find out because she fired her, so she doesn't want to come back anymore. But you know what, though? You were already on the fence of getting fired anyhow. You know what I mean? So it just happened that this one was not a lie.

[00:12:01] And I've had one like that. You know, it's like, so I kind of have one now that she will make appointments weeks or months ahead of time, and then she just won't show up. And so they call her up, and she's like, oh, I'm out of town, you know, liking all this. And I was like, why didn't you cancel? You know, like, now we have to charge you. And so, like, at the beginning, last minute, things like, oh, I can't make it. I'm doing something else.

[00:12:28] I started off only charging her half. The second one, full. Yeah. Third one, I just stopped taking her appointments. That's how I handled it. I had a client who no-showed, like, all the time where she'd miss an appointment, and then we'd charge her for that one. Yeah. And then she'd come in, like, later on that day, and I was, like, squeeze her. And it was always for blow dries. And she would get a haircut, like, once every couple of months. And her dad was paying for the credit card bill. Yeah. So she just didn't give a shit.

[00:12:57] So she'd make all these appointments for her. She's a mess, though. Right. You know what I mean? She was a total mess. She just didn't give a shit. You're like, oh, just charge the card. She's like, my dad pays for any house. I don't give a shit. Right? So we charged her card one time. We called her up. Never heard from her, which was kind of odd because she was very regular for blow dries. And then because she had them stacked up appointments on certain days well in advance. I think we charged her card three times. For the third time, I was like, she's not answering your phone anymore.

[00:13:27] She's not calling us back. And one of her girlfriends, who I also did her hair, who referred this girl to me, came inside the salon, told me that she'd committed suicide. Oh. Okay. Yeah. So I went back and I'm like, oh, my God, we just charged a dead person three times because that was her MO. I mean, that's what she did. And at this point, I'm kind of like, do we return the money? The dad's already kind of paying for it. And I don't know what to do. You know what I mean?

[00:13:57] At that point, because a month had passed at that, you know, and we had we never heard from her again. And I slept it alone. Don't do it anymore. You know, but I couldn't. Oh, no. I mean, you're not going to charge. You know, I can. You can only imagine, though, like what the dad was thinking is like, here's like the date after his daughter passed away. Well. And her card is still getting charged. He's probably not noticing. Is she still? Yeah. If you're just automatically paying someone's card. Yeah. But also charges on the card, but he's not sure how they happened.

[00:14:27] You know, it's like his daughter just died a month ago. That's the least of his worries right now. You know, he's. That's true. So. I just felt terrible, though. You know what I mean? You should. I didn't know. I didn't know. Well. If you don't know. I mean, at the time, you're just thinking you're just not showing up. Should have asked. You should have left a message. I tried. Are you still alive? I tried. And then if there's no answer, that's your answer. All right.

[00:14:52] So the next one is I work in a commission salon that had no cancellation policy. I had a client who would go through and cancel appointments three to five times before she actually showed up for an appointment. But she said, here are a couple of things I remember off the top of my head on why she would cancel. And the first one is stubbed my toe on a coffee table and broke it horribly from a stub. Well, that's happened to me. Yep. You broke your toe? No. Was it deformed? Subbed my toe. That's it.

[00:15:21] And it felt like it was broken horribly. So I don't know. I didn't cut at the doctor. I didn't have a doctor's note. Sorry. I've seen your toes. They all look stubbed. Yeah. All right. Tree fell on the car. That's happened to my brother. I do. I do remember that. I do remember that in L.A. Yes. I do remember the branch landing on his car. Yep. Beverly Hills. That's right. Basement flooded. It was completely underwater. So now her house is Noah's Ark.

[00:15:51] I've heard of that. Yep. Toe was infected and gone septic, but never went to the hospital. Okay. Yeah. I know, right? That's the time. Don't you have to be bleeding out or something like that? Not just an infection? Sniffles. Okay. You don't want to go to the doctor. All right. The possibility of you losing a toe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then hit an elk on the way to an appointment. Where the fuck do you live? Where is? Yeah. An elk. I don't know. She didn't say where she lived.

[00:16:20] Rocky Mountains or like Alaska maybe. Who knows? A client who broke her arm and then walked into the salon the next day to see if we had any more openings and you guessed it, no cast on her arm. Some people are tough like that. They don't need a cast. You just walk around with a broken fucking arm, don't you? You know what? Also, some people are fast healers. True. So she's probably one of those. So then the next one is I had one client tell me that her sister died of cancer.

[00:16:48] Told me all these stories how she would shower her sick sister with love at the hospital, even one time dressed up as a penguin to make her smile. Because penguins were her favorite animal. She missed her appointment. Your appointment? Because her sister died of cancer. Told her all this? Yeah. So she was like, so next time she came in for an appointment, she was like telling her all the things she would do for her sister. And it was years later, we were talking about growing up with siblings in the house. And she said to me that she only had a brother.

[00:17:16] I clarified that she told me about her sister dying of cancer. And she said that I was wrong and that it wasn't her. That she'd never had a sister. I'm like, uh-huh. Yeah. So she was lying. It may have been an elaborate story about dressing up as a penguin for her sister dying of cancer. Well, it had to work. You know, it's like you got to make that story worth how much that you didn't have to pay. Exactly. Yep. I mean, I guess it was like the price of the rental for the penguin suit. Right? So.

[00:17:46] Wow. She just made that whole thing up. You know, like, I'm going to do that. Just better write them down in your notes so you remember who the fuck they are. Let's see. Here's the last one. As I had a client that told me that she got stuck in the floods of South Carolina trying to go and rescue her artistic brother. She said she had no reception so she couldn't call to cancel. But all the text messages went through because on iPhone you can tell, you know, if a message says delivered. Yeah.

[00:18:15] You know, even though despite not having any service. Right. The biggest kicker is that the floods that she was supposedly stuck in were in North Carolina and not South Carolina where they were at. She's like, if you're going to lie, at least get it right. So that's the thing. Stick to your fucking stories. No, but I know what she's up to. You know, it's like she heard about this on the news. It's perfect. You know, it's like and she didn't know the difference between the Carolinas.

[00:18:45] She's thinking you won't either. Yeah. I love it. Just know the fucking difference. And we're back. All right, guys. We're going to get back to some more of your emails that you guys have sent us. You guys are doing a wonderful job of that. But before we do that, I'd like to say thank you for helping us grow and by smashing up those likes and going through and wherever you guys listen to us.

[00:19:14] You guys have been giving us a five-star rating on Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening to us. You've been doing a great job leaving some comments for us. Thank you so much for going through and helping our algorithm to reach other people and helping us grow. So I want to thank you for that. Getting back to your emails, if you'd like to go through and get on the podcast, please go through and email us at info at shititoldmyhairdruster.com. Like you guys have been doing. Thank you so much.

[00:19:44] And give us a good story. Give us your best that you got some crazy shit that we definitely want to hear. It doesn't have people from behind the chair. It'd be something that happened to your family. Something like we talked about last week that really, I think that screwed your sleep up, didn't it, Jack? Last week's episode. Oh, oh my God. Why did you even remind me? I've told people about that. Yeah. And they can't even believe it happened. You know, it's like, yeah, that sounds made up.

[00:20:13] You know me and you know, I saved these stories just so I can get your reaction. And let me tell you, I went back to watch some of the video and your face is priceless. I mean, it was, you were just like in disbelief and in shock. I love it. I love putting you there. Call your therapist. Call your therapist. You need it. You need some therapy. No, my therapist, he's in therapy now. Exactly. Because of it. So now I have to get a new therapist. Exactly.

[00:20:40] Anyhow, going back to your guys' emails, I did ask you guys about extensions because we had. Speaking of people who need therapy. Right. Okay. Extension clients. Yep. Exactly. Funny enough, we have a girl who is like an extension specialist at the salon. And let me tell you, if you don't think she starts off her mornings with a big old cup of vodka, Yeah. Because I mean, I've seen it. I've seen her in the back just going through and just pouring it inside there.

[00:21:09] And I'm like, yeah, if I was doing her job, I'd probably be doing that too. Yeah. That's why life expectancy of extension stylus is really low. Exactly. Dropping down just liver disease. Yep. But we had a girl a little while ago, she had a client come in for a blow dry. And we've talked about this before. Or people will come in wanting a blow dry or paying. They want to pay the lowest price for a blow dry, but have these extensions in their hair because they don't want to pay.

[00:21:38] Like you won't notice them. Exactly. Like, oh, really? I had no idea. You have this. People never notice them. Oh, what do I have back there? You have three rows of extensions. Yeah. You got a bunch of horse hair. You have a bunch of horse hair tied to the back of your head. Yeah. Like we wouldn't notice. Act like it's not there. Okay. Sure. Why not? Yeah. In fact, let me charge you half. Thank God you came in with extensions because it makes my job so much easier. Yeah. But this woman comes in and she's telling the girl to please be careful of her extensions.

[00:22:07] She needs to have them redone. And so she's going back to kind of take a look. And it was one of those tied in like sewed in wefts. Yeah. Yeah. But it was like her hair was kind of hanging down a little bit, which sometimes it could be almost okay. You know what I mean? But this one had a paper clip on the side holding it into her head. So wait. So did she misplace that or? No, it was actually holding the extensions, the weft part of the weft to her head. She did that. On purpose. And it was like, nevermind that.

[00:22:37] Just make sure that, you know, we kind of hang on to it so you don't, you know, it doesn't come off. Paper clip. Yeah. She wanted to leave it. She's like a real MacGyver. Exactly. I'm surprised she had some bubble gum, you know what I mean? Cause he's put inside there, pushed her head or some gorilla glue. I'm like, what the fuck? So, so the girl's like, I can't do your hair. Not only that, she's like, if I'm blow drying, it's going to come off. You have to have this all redone. She goes, and I don't have time for that. So she went around trying to find someone who could actually help her out.

[00:23:07] Cause no one had any time. It's not like you just go through and like pop it in and resell back up. And five minutes later, you're all done. You know, you have to have, you have to make an appointment, have someone take it out, wash everything and put it back in. You know what I mean? She was hoping that she would just handle it. And she's a lot of time and money. Yeah. And she paid $25 for a blow dry. You know what I mean? It's like, no, nevermind the paper clip and the safety pin. And you know what I mean? The bubble gum in my hair, just blow it. It made me look amazing. This misses it as no big deals.

[00:23:36] Oh, you're like, okay, I guess it isn't a big deal. I'll do it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You hold it. I'll blow dry it. You know what I mean? It's like, no, that's not how it works. If it's going to come out. Cause you, cause you know, you're not holding it. I'm not doing it. So listen, if this is an emergency, you know, like if I've been in things like this, you know, like a photo shoot or runway and a model has an extension that's falling out. It's like, okay, we have to deal with this right now.

[00:24:04] You know, it's like you're on in three minutes or whatever, you know, then I would deal with it. She's just walking in there. She has all the time in the world. She just wants something for free. Maybe. I don't know. Just doesn't want to take care of her shit. Or make an appointment or spend more money on, you know, the weft that she has in her hair. She's lazy. Goodbye. Yeah. She had to leave. You know what I mean? It's just the girl's like, I'm not doing this hair. But not only that, if you cause any damage, who do you think she's going to go through and come after? She's going to come after you for doing it.

[00:24:33] So they, they, she had to leave. She's like putting her up. He wanted to like set her up. Yeah. So I asked you guys and you guys definitely answered. And, uh, yeah. So here's like one of the first emails that I got. First response was I had a 15 year old girl once. Hang on a second. 15 and getting extensions. That's a little young, but she needs to fit in and be cool. You know, accentuate that nose job, right? Without them.

[00:25:03] He's not cool. So, so she's a 15 year old girl once who went to a cheap stylist for extensions. She came in bawling in pain and needed them to be removed. The hairstylist in air quotes, they're a notorious drunk. So obviously she knew this girl use. Hey, I know her. Yeah. Me too. But yeah. So this hairstylist is a notorious drunk. Use nail glue to put in the extensions.

[00:25:31] It took me six hours to remove them with acetone. That poor girl. Nail glue. Wait, you mean to hold fingernails on? Yes. She used nail glue. Okay. So. This isn't Lee press on hair. What the fuck is this? Is that like way stronger than the hair? Like the bonding for the K-tips? I have no idea. Or like, well, I don't have anything. I got this nail glue. That'll work.

[00:26:01] I fixed my car with it last night. Right. Yeah. Fallen offs. So I glued it back on. This'll hold your hair. This'll be way better. You want to know what though? I'm going to start telling the girls at the salon. Start using nail glue. Maybe if you have any wefts that are kind of falling out or a K-tip that's not holding properly. Fuck it. Go get some nail glue. Yeah. I'm sure that'll work. Put on your eyelash too. Oh, it wasn't that one idiot that sprayed on the gorilla glue on her head.

[00:26:30] Remember that she had to go to the hospital? Because she actually used these. You know they have like gorilla glue has that spray glue? Yeah. The girl sprayed it onto her hair and she actually ended up going to the hospital for it. Did we talk about this? No. It was all over like YouTube and all over Instagram. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of using hairspray, I'm going to use this because it was water resistant. It was just kind of like, you are the people we have warning signs for, you fucking morons. You're the reason we pay extra for all these warning labels.

[00:26:59] It's idiots like you doing this shit. You know? Jeez. Like, don't use a curling iron on your fucking eyelashes. We talked about that before. Curling iron, external use only. What is that about? You know what that's about. What's next? All right. Another one? Oh yeah. So I had a new client book in for a blow dry saying she wanted it curled for an event. I was booking her in when she said, oh, I have some extensions I want you to put in as well. I told her that I have zero training with any type of extensions.

[00:27:29] I told her that this is not a service I provided. She clarified there were just clip-ins, which I've dealt with clip-ins before. Usually they're pretty easy. That's usually what I've done on shoots or whatever. Right. When you have more time. Yeah. But I do charge extra for that. For sure. And it's very, very temporary. Very temporary. Absolutely. For that day. And that's it. Mm-hmm. Well, and the client said, oh, they're really easy to do.

[00:27:58] She was like, argued a bit, but eventually agreed. But explained that I can't promise that they'll stay in the whole day. I reiterated that I had no training, but she was fine with it. She turned up with these ratty clip-in extensions. And I proceeded to try to attach them to her bleach-damaged hair. Her hair was so fine and damaged that there was barely enough to clip them into. And the clip was actually showing through the hair to top it all off. Her hair was brassy and yellow.

[00:28:26] And the extensions were so overtoned at this point, they were light blue. Well, at least you'll have some pretty green highlights, right? So were they for her? Or did she find them like on the sidewalk or something? I know, right? You mentioned that they were bluish, you said? Yeah. She said they were so overtoned that they were actually blue. You know how they'll use blue shampoo or blue toner to kind of get the brassiness out? I know what it was. She was hanging out at the pool in Vegas.

[00:28:56] And she found extensions that had fallen off of someone's hair. And that's enough to turn them blue. There you go. Oh, God. Can you imagine? No. Especially like you turn up with hair like that. So I guess they just turn out. She just said, we're going to go through. So the color was so bad. She's all that. And it wouldn't even match. She's like, all we did was just kind of like ditch the extension and just curled her hair. So I'm sure that was pretty already. The sound of the condition of this woman's hair being all broken and shit. It was awful.

[00:29:26] Like ratty. I would imagine she like had them in her purse or something. And they're all tangled up. And they probably need to be deloused. You know what I mean? At this point. You know what I mean? It's probably like lice in it or some kind of weird, you know, bugs and shit. I mean. Or washed at least. When I'm doing clip-ins, people are pulling them out of a box usually brand new. And they're already kind of color matched. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm not having someone pull something out of their purse and like, you know, here you go. Use these. They've been like reused and someone else wore them and they're like passed around.

[00:29:56] That's gross. Bitch, you need more hair. Here, I got some in my purse. Here, try these. People are gross. So the last one is I had a client, no matter what application I did, somehow her extensions were either pulled or ripped out. And she was constantly blaming me for it. Hang on a second. You can't do that. Like falling out? No. They're saying pulled or ripped. You can tell. You know what I mean? Especially like if they've been pulled out, there's breakage.

[00:30:26] Yeah, but she's like laming whoever put them in? Exactly. So none of my other clients had a single issue with their extensions rather than the occasional tape slip, which I totally get that. But one of the clients, this girl, one of the client's friends came in for a cut and told me that this girl rips through her hair all the time. And her hair was yanked out during intimacy times. So I officially told her to go find someone else.

[00:30:57] Right. Exactly. So someone's repping them out. And someone, the boy or whoever she has having sex with, you know what I mean? Yeah. Going through and like, she's the one telling them, pull harder. She's acting like a horse and he's pulling reins. Exactly. Yeah. She's all, you better not stop until you have a fistful in your hands. You know what I mean? Oh God. You know, wait, had you watched the video of it? She recorded it. You know they did. People like that always do. They're all on OnlyFans or some shit like that.

[00:31:26] They absolutely do. And you know who you are out there who record their shit. And now for the terminally late and the dearly departed. Shitology. There's a recent policy change with cancellation fees. Emergency autopsies will no longer be a valid excuse for no-shows.

[00:31:54] Your card will be charged in full since your family is using your life insurance policy to pay off all your debt anyway. Amen. Are you turned off the idea of tariffs on hair wefts? We have an idea for you. Patriot. Las Vegas. The Tropicana Hotel Pool. Cool. 6 a.m. On a Sunday morning. 50 blonde hair extensions floating in a circle. Definitely more than you need for your new wig. But damn, you've hit the jackpot.

[00:32:24] And the rest of it just sell on Facebook Marketplace. And with that. Stay shitty. Stay shitty. Hey, listener persons. Thanks for listening. And if you like our show, please help us grow the podcast by giving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Prime, or wherever you get your favorite shit. It definitely helps our algorithm, and it's free to do.

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