Compliment ambush Ep#71

[00:00:00] Do I know you? We're related. Perfect.

[00:00:25] Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Shit. I told my Hairdresser I'm feeling a lot better. I'm looking a lot better. Right, Jack? Are you? Look at me. I look great. I think the question that should be asked is, have you bathed since last week? I have. Okay. I have. I'm out of my bird flu K-hole, so I'm good. I'll take your word for it.

[00:00:55] Well, at least you don't have to smell me. I mean, you're all the way in Denver. I'm so happy. I'm like a thousand miles away from you. I showered. Look at me. I look fantastic. Good for you. I moisturized. I'm good. Yeah, good. Anyhow, if you guys don't mind, you guys moisturize as well, though, too, and use those moisturized fingers to go through and smash up those likes for us. And go over to wherever you get your favorite podcast. And you guys have been doing a great job with this.

[00:01:25] Go through and give us a rating. Tell us what you think. Give us a little, leave us a little note on there. We really do appreciate it. You guys have been really leaving some nice notes for me. Not Jack, but for me. But if you also want to get your voice onto the voicemail, go to our website at shititoldmyhairdresser.com. Hit the microphone icon and leave us a voicemail. Get you on the old podcast. And also, if you have one of those stories that you have to get off your chest, this is

[00:01:54] one of the things I've been hearing the most is when people have been saying, this is such a great place to kind of drop some great stories that I've been wanting to tell like forever. Send us an email at info at shititoldmyhairdresser.com. And we, Jack, that's one of Jack's favorite things to do is read your emails. I love it. And actually, I have one for myself here. You emailed yourself? Talk about. Yes, I did.

[00:02:22] I emailed the website and here's what I said. Good. You'll know what I mean right after this story here. So this Alana Met Now was like my first day working there. There was this colorist who worked there who I think I had load to ride her client. And I was walking with her to the front there. And the colorist walked up and he had a huge smile on her face and was like, do you love it?

[00:02:52] It's so good. Oh, God. I can't believe it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Me neither. Yeah. So that's how she goes at it. So keep in mind, this is a girl who no longer works there. Nobody liked her. Right. She was so horrible. She talked to people and just lived in her own world. She was a nightmare.

[00:03:17] And it just, oh, and she was like a cute girl maybe 10 years ago. But something happened and she lost her looks. Sniffing too much bleach. Now she's like mean to people. And I think it's more than that, though. It's like she didn't even give this client a chance. Yeah. To say maybe it's a little too bright or something.

[00:03:45] You know, like if she had anything to say about it, she wouldn't have let her. She would have had to ruin her mood. Mm-hmm. Just talk over her. Talk about this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it started off with this happy, excited face. Like now you can't say anything bad about the color I did on you. Otherwise, you're going to ruin the mood and you're the bitch. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[00:04:11] And this reminded me of a couple of people who we worked with at one of those fancy Beverly Hills salons that. Oh, I know who you're talking about. I've worked with quite a few. Yeah. So we had those there. And I'm here to say I met one here. And she's a narcissist. These people who we worked with in Beverly Hills are narcissists. And they just have big holes in them. Oh, absolutely.

[00:04:40] Huge, empty holes. And they would always come and attack you. They would like, they'd have like this like compliment ambush that they would use on clients. You know, and especially just being like, we specialize in just cutting hair. We're the last person with that client. You know, so we're the ones kind of left picking up all the pieces. You know, it's like they like they'll go through and they'll come over, do the, you know, the initial like ambush with a compliment. Oh my God, don't you love it?

[00:05:10] It looks so amazing. You know, and they're like, and they don't know what to say. So I just use that shock value of just coming over and going, oh my God, blah, blah, blah. You know, and then they don't say anything because really they're thrown off. Right. And then they just walk away. Then the client is like, obviously they don't have anything to say. So I'm going to walk away now. Yeah. The client needs advice from you. Now, like, what do I do? How do I talk to this colorist? And you're going through and be like, Hey, it's too red or it's too bright or it's too brassy.

[00:05:41] What do I say? Can you go and talk to her? And you're like, fuck, she was just here. And then you walk over the colorist. They go, well, she said she loved it. It's like, no, you said she loved it. Yeah. Yeah. She didn't say that. So let's go back and have rehab that conversation. So now this whole, like, you know, basically a, you know, compliment bomb. You just dropped it in their fucking lap and just bolted afterwards. So here's what happens during a walk back over there.

[00:06:10] They start thinking of ways to smash this. So they will never take responsibility for them not liking it. So they will either let them know that they're wrong or they will just blame them. They will never take any blame. Not at all. So yeah. I've had a colorist hold a phone up with a photo and they go, look, it looks exactly the same. And you're like, no, it fucking doesn't.

[00:06:38] Or they're just like, oh my God, you want to wash it once or twice. You're going to love it. Wait till your friends see it. You're going to, they're going to love your hair color. Then let me know in eight to six weeks. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. When you get home, oh my God, when you're in the light in your bathroom, oh my God, you're going to love it. It's going to be so incredible or just wash it once or twice. You know what I mean? And then just get back to me. By the way, I'm going on vacation for like eight weeks. So, you know, just send me a message and I'll get back to you. You know, you're like, what?

[00:07:08] And they're, and they're going nowhere by the way. They're going on vacation. But then also because you didn't, uh, pack them up. You're an asshole too. Oh, that is so true.

[00:07:48] Against them. To this day, I've been doing her hair for like 28, 29 years. She flies up every eight weeks. I mean, this is how much she trusts me. And I made the mistake of getting her an appointment with this guy who everyone there at the salon is like, oh my God, he's amazing. I love that. Everyone there is amazing. And yet they're not. He had her for eight hours. Eight hours. Eight hours. And all she was coming in for was as a partial highlight, just a, just a maintenance highlight.

[00:08:15] And after those eight hours and she was done and I get her, her hair was toned maybe 15 times. Cause he fucked it up. A simple highlight, you know, and then she gets to the front and he tries to charge her something like 12, $1,400. So he was charging her for every mistake, every toner that he did on her. And I had a call. I called him out in front of the manager. I mean, I brought him up to, he wouldn't even walk up to the front desk. He didn't even want to walk up there. He goes, that's the bill. And would stay in the back. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:08:44] We're not paying this. You need to get up here and we need to go through and straighten this out. Her bill, well, she'll pay the 300, but that's it. And then he tries to place a blame on her. And he goes, her hair was way more fucked up than when she walked in. And when she walked in, I apologize. When she walked in, her hair was way more fucked up than it is now. And I'm like, oh, you have that in reverse, my friend. I'm like, you fucked that one up good. Oh my God. He messed up her hair and he's blaming it on her. Yes. And he kept it there for eight hours.

[00:09:13] Who was the one who fucked it up? It was supposed to be a two hour. It was on the books for two hours. Then eight hours later. Till I met him. It must have been her fault. Till I met him. I had never even heard of anyone singing a song all day long. Without actually working there. I never knew you could be that bad. If they worked there. Yeah. Yeah. Never even heard of it. Unless maybe they're having her hair bleached platinum from black or something. Okay. That I could see.

[00:09:43] That's a color collection. That's like a regular partial highlights. And he's like basically berating her at the front saying that was all her fault. You know, we, he and I never, we worked together for another three more years and we never said a word to each other until he got fired. And when he got fired, I was like, thank God. Yeah. It was like the, one of the best days inside of that salon. But it was, there was guys, there was one guy that I worked with where if you'd walk

[00:10:11] a client to the back where the colorists were and he saw your color. And if you had a complaint or if you said like, Hey, you want to watch? I wish it was more red or a little lighter. He can go, Oh, cool. Oh yeah. We'll get it right next time. And I'm like, what, what? Yeah. Wow. Excuse me. Next time. How about this time? Let's get it right this time. Not next time. Why is he going to come back in six weeks or eight weeks to get it corrected.

[00:10:40] That didn't make any sense. I mean, how does he get that strategy? Um, how to deal with. Do I have no idea. Liking the color. He does. Who taught him that? Well, you remember who does. No, but what other business would do that? I have no idea. So like. Imagine going to a restaurant. It's like, Oh, we didn't nail it this time. Maybe next time. Come back. It's like, no, my burger is way overcooked. And it's like, Oh, Oh yeah, it is.

[00:11:10] Next time. We'll get to hit you right next time. Yeah. No. This time. No. Now. Yeah. That wasn't a very good strategy because he didn't work out very well at that shop. You know, he started. Clients are dropping like flies away from him and they all started going to that. So they had to move him to a different location. Let me guess. That had like five locations to it. I bet he wondered why. Absolutely. And no one told them either. Why would you?

[00:11:40] Cause then you're breaking their little hearts. You know what I mean? But that's the thing. When someone goes through and drops that compliment sandwich on your, whatever you want to call it, I call it, I mean, an ambush. And they go through and they have this big smile on their face. And then as soon as you go through and start telling them like, oh my God, you know what? I really don't like this. All their face starts to drop. And then now you're feeling guilty for ruining the whole situation. You know what I mean? So you're kind of like, oh no, no, no, maybe it's okay. I'll try it out for like a day or two.

[00:12:10] I'll wash it and I'll see what it's like at home. And it's like, if you don't like it now, you're not going to like it at home. You're not going to look in your car. And your friend's going to tell you your hair looks like shit. I guarantee it. I'm not lying about going along with a lie. You've ruined it with reality. So. Exactly. And we're back. All right.

[00:12:37] So I'm going to go through and tell you about another client story that I had inside the salon. Now, we did talk about, I have a client who is a ER doctor. We talked about the guy with the double cock rings and the people who eat little baby toy doll heads. I remember that. I would take all that out. Yep. Yeah, exactly.

[00:13:05] And then we had, there's another episode of kissing cousins. Uh-huh. Where the, my client has a threesome with her first cousin. Yeah. Yeah. Now this was, it was female on female cousins and then an external guy. Yeah. That they had the threesome with, you know what I mean? So, but that was a pretty gross story still, you know, it's like, don't, don't do that.

[00:13:34] Well, uh, I had a client come in a little while back and she's an OBGYN. Mm-hmm. So, gynecologist, I don't know what you, whatever you want to call it. Gynecologist, my old job. Yeah. You wish. Yeah. Ashley, I would not wish. I would not want that job. I would not. I was only amateur. Exactly.

[00:14:01] Uh, she came in and I was kind of telling her about a little bit about the podcast and some of the stories that we have. And she started telling me about some of the things that happened in her job. But I'm like, okay. I got some for you. Yeah. This is definitely the things that I want to hear. Now we're in Seattle. And Seattle is a very techie city. And we bring in all of some of the best people from all over the world who can do these specialized jobs.

[00:14:31] So whether it's for like Microsoft or Amazon, but we become this, it's almost like becoming like a mini LA. It's like a melting pot here where we have all these different cultures, all living in this area now, which is kind of incredible. You know, the past 10 years that I've been here, it was like super white to now it's like you can hear every single different language as you're walking down the street. People are talking like in Farsi and Hindi. I mean, it's just like, you name it there. You hear it everywhere, which is really cool. Sure.

[00:15:00] But in some of these cultures, they bring some of the culture with them. They have to, that's just how it works. Right. And part of their culture in some of the, some of these countries is to have arranged marriages. Mm-hmm. Yep. I've said that. So the parents go through and they create a contract with another family or however it works.

[00:15:24] And they promise that they will marry their child later on in life or when they're, when they're married marriage age in their culture, where it'd be like 16 or 18 or whatever it is over there. So they get married and they move to United States and they need to find all new doctors and everything. And of course, when you get pregnant, you go see the OB. Yep. And she says a lot of these people with their arranged marriages are first cousins.

[00:15:55] And I'm like, Oh, holy shit. Okay. Yeah. First cousins. Nothing new. So this has been happening throughout history, you know? Yeah. Oh, sure. Absolutely. The Royal family. Uh-huh. Notorious for that. I think the Egyptians were too, weren't they? The Royal family, the Egyptians. Everyone was.

[00:16:20] Even here in America, the American South, I think is known for that. Still known for that. Still known. Yep. I mean, old ways. Here's the thing though. If you're going to go through and do an arranged marriage and you pick your brother or your sister's kid, isn't that a bit lazy? Like that's, that's as far as you went to look to find an arranged marriage. When you went out, find someone you need to like, you know, I don't know.

[00:16:49] I know, I know. Maybe that's all your, they let you hang out with, you know, it's like you, you grew up together and, um, who knows, you know, it's like, and, uh, the parents want to keep it in, uh, the family, keep everything safe from outsiders.

[00:17:35] But see, you never know how this. Kids are going to have the recessive gene that, you know, so if you have like some type of disease or some type of like, you know, something that happened in your family, say it's like heart failure or something that you're going to pass that onto your child, you know, and that can be very risky. So, but not only that, there's a lot of birth defects that come along with that as well though too. That's more of my concern is, um, there's a reason that they don't like that, you know,

[00:18:01] um, you're minimizing that risk when you go through and you separate further and further away from your family. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so that recessive gene becomes less and less as opposed to if you're like, you know, Hey, you're my cousin and we share the same like grandfather or whatever it is, great grandfather. Then you're going to have the recessive gene that gets together and you're going to have a lot of problems with that point. And a lot of these cultures, they have like five to six kids. It's not like they're having just one, they're having a lot. They have like a litter.

[00:18:31] Yeah. You know? So the doctors haven't explained to them, like, here's the risk that could happen because you guys are first cousins, you know? And some of them are kind of like, okay, they take that into consideration and she tries to go through and give them all the paperwork that, you know, goes through and to try to show them like, this is scientific proof of what could happen. You know, I might do some people listen to you. And she was like, well, some do. Yes. I'll take that into consideration. And then some, I just never see again. Wow.

[00:19:01] They don't like what she told them and they find one that tells them, yeah, it's no big deal. Yeah. It's a little risk. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Exactly. That's what they want to hear. Or they'll try to find one that's like part of their culture or a doctor that's part of that same country. They would never even mention it. Probably not. It wouldn't even come up. They would just let it go and just see what happens.

[00:19:26] And they have so many kids anyway, maybe for that reason, if they lose one or two, they don't mind. Right. Oh, geez. Yeah. I hear you. That's what. That's a harsh reality. That's why all of them. Yeah, you're right. So like a lot of them died, you know, at a very young age anyway, you know, cousins or not. So listen. That's one of the birth defects as well, though, too, is they could die at an early age. Yeah.

[00:19:56] It's cousins, you know, it's like it could be worse. Oh, it is. It does get worse. Oh, it does. It does get worse. I thought she was done. You had something where. Oh, boy. Okay. I thought she was done. She wasn't done. Yeah. You're. Oh, you're going to love this. I think anybody. I know you're going to love this. She said that that wasn't the worst. And I looked at her and I'm like, what? Like, okay. Like, what's worse than that?

[00:20:24] And of course, my mind goes to a dark place. You know what I mean? But she looked at me. She was like, I have. She was. This doesn't happen all the time, but it happens at least like once every couple of months. I'll have a girl come in. That's way too often. I don't even know what you're about to say. But if it's happening every couple of months, it's already. It is. You're right. Yeah. A brother and sister will come in. Wow. Okay. So the girl will come in escorted by her brother.

[00:20:54] And I'm like, he is. It turns out that she is pregnant from him. Well, that's the thing. That's why she's like now. She's like, okay. Now she becomes like a detective. And she starts asking questions like, you know, like, okay, so why are you here? And they'll say like, oh, I'm here for moral support. I'm her brother. So, oh, this is my brother. He's just here to kind of like, you know, be with me. He's like, okay. Like, who's the father? And they're like, well, we don't know yet. You know, things like that.

[00:21:24] They're just, they're leaving it very open. Yes. Because they might be afraid that they, you know, someone could get arrested or because incest is not legal. You know, so they're, you know, she was like, she's trying to find who. I don't think that they're worried about that really. I don't think they are either, but he's there and she's like, okay, so now we're going to go through and do the ultrasound. And the brother's kind of like staying there.

[00:21:53] So like, they'll, they'll want to stay. Now I have a child, you know, I've been to the ultrasounds. I don't know if everyone knows what happens, but they take this device and go straight into the vagina. Now. Okay. So you mean, so whoever's wanting to hang out. It's going to see everything. And this brother wants to hang out. Exactly. You know what? It's nothing he hasn't seen before. So. Oh, dude.

[00:22:23] Obviously. So he doesn't mind. Well, and then that's when the doctor's like, listen, here's what's going to happen. Yeah. Do you really want to be in here for this? And some will say yes. And then she'll have to say like, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable because I need to go through and do a medical exam on your sister. And I'm asking you to please leave the room. And some will insist to still be there. Don't even ask. You just tell them leave. She's almost had to call security. Yeah.

[00:22:53] Because the brother will not want to leave. Because now she's already done. He's already like he wants to clean this up. Well, now what she wants to do is trouble with their mom. I think she wants to go through and get him out of the room so she can talk to her. Yeah. In a safe place to make sure that she's okay. You know what I mean? To make sure there's something weird going on. That's like, well, not something already weird is going on. That's for sure.

[00:23:20] But to make sure that he's not there to keep her from saying something. So she feels that she can say something to the doctor and then she can call the authorities if they need to be called. You know, and they'll have security there keeping him in a different room. And that way she may be going to talk to the police if need be or a counselor or whatever it is to go through and get things sorted out. But she was like, some of them are kind of like, no, nothing weird. Nothing weird is happening. He's just here for moral support and that's it. And there's nothing she can do after that.

[00:23:48] Once you're kind of like, hey, you know what? Nothing weird happened. Not, not his. No, I don't know what you're talking about. He's not going to just straight up ask them. Do you guys hook up and just look at them? Then she might as well just roll with it and tell them how cute of a couple they are. Oh, gross. Whatever. You know, it's like just found each other. How do they find each other? They're living in the same house. Yeah. It's like, how do you how do you know each other? How'd you guys meet?

[00:24:17] Oh, that's so gross. No, but she had to go through and do this delicate dance. So that way she feels safe with this doctor. That way, if she does need to open some girls, you gotta be afraid at this point to open up to somebody. Yeah. So this is a way for her to go through and feel safe and open up to somebody so that she can go through and give them help. Because you're not going to ask for help for someone you don't trust. So as soon as she gains that person's trust, then hopefully she'll open up and ask her for help.

[00:24:45] You know, so that's why there's this delicate dance with this point, you know, but it's like, dude, this is your brother. And you're kind of like, oh, yeah, we're having a baby. Yeah. Fucks. Something that shouldn't have happened has happened. And now for the greatest shitology of all time. Jason.

[00:25:14] When that colorist comes over to dump that narcissistic version of reality all over your client, beat them to it and tell them it was the greatest color you've ever seen has definitely changed the world. And that way, when they walk away all happy, then you can go through and recommend a new colorist to your client. All these cousins and siblings hooking up and having babies makes you think that maybe letting the kids splash around in the bath wasn't such a great idea after all.

[00:25:42] But on the bright side, it sure makes family photos and holidays much easier. Maybe this whole prearranged marriage thing is the way to go. Never mind the dating apps and the 8 billion other people that are in the world that you're not related to. Maybe just go through and climb your own family tree at the next family reunion. Remember, watch out for that low hanging fruit. I definitely go up a few branches if you know what I mean. And with that, stay shitty.

[00:26:12] Hey, listener persons. Thanks for listening. And if you like our show, please help us grow the podcast by giving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Prime, or wherever you get your favorite shit. It definitely helps our algorithm and it's free to do. If you like to get your story on our podcast, go to our website at shititoldmyhairdresser.com where you can get your voicemail on our show by using the green mic icon.

[00:26:37] Or you can send us an email at info at shititoldmyhairdresser.com. And if you like us, tell 10 of your friends. And if you hate us, tell 20. And remember, stay shitty, listener persons.