Clean your brushes EP#63

[00:00:00] Hey Jack, do you have any New Year's resolutions this year?

[00:00:02] Yeah, to be less of a cunt.

[00:00:05] Good luck with that, because that'll never happen.

[00:00:07] Maybe next year then.

[00:00:20] Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Shit I Told my Hairdresser.

[00:00:27] Hi Jason.

[00:00:28] Jack, how are you my friend?

[00:00:31] I'm alright, I'm just uh...

[00:00:34] Surviving?

[00:00:35] Surviving, yeah, yep.

[00:00:37] Did you get wrecked this past week?

[00:00:40] I mean the holidays wreck you?

[00:00:42] What do you mean wrecked?

[00:00:44] I mean it was busy inside the fucking salon.

[00:00:47] You know what I mean?

[00:00:47] No.

[00:00:49] That's not what you were asking me?

[00:00:50] No, if you got wrecked.

[00:00:52] Oh.

[00:00:52] I mean like if you got like, you know, it was busy.

[00:00:56] I'm...

[00:00:57] Clients coming out of fucking everywhere.

[00:00:59] It's weird.

[00:00:59] It gets busy and then slow again.

[00:01:02] It's just weird.

[00:01:03] I'm just glad it's all over.

[00:01:05] I'm glad to have the break.

[00:01:06] Yeah.

[00:01:06] You know what I mean?

[00:01:07] Because it was just like...

[00:01:09] I was over it before it started anyway, so...

[00:01:12] Yeah, I'm so glad that everyone got pissed off at the music.

[00:01:16] So the music did change.

[00:01:18] So it wasn't just all Christmas music all day long, but...

[00:01:21] Yeah.

[00:01:22] I'm just glad Christmas is over.

[00:01:24] Everyone got their presents.

[00:01:25] Everyone's happy.

[00:01:26] Everything's good.

[00:01:27] Do they have any New Year's songs?

[00:01:31] There's only really one.

[00:01:32] Yeah, and it sucks.

[00:01:34] And who wants to repeat that one?

[00:01:35] You could do it over and over.

[00:01:37] And people do.

[00:01:40] Yeah.

[00:01:41] Hot song over and over.

[00:01:43] Well...

[00:01:44] Hopefully things are heading back to normal.

[00:01:45] You know, 2025 is coming.

[00:01:48] You know, because it was just like everywhere...

[00:01:50] There was no shampoo at the back bar.

[00:01:53] There was no towels at the back bar.

[00:01:56] I mean...

[00:01:57] Grand, it was busy.

[00:01:58] Yeah.

[00:01:59] You know what's happening.

[00:02:01] You know what I mean?

[00:02:02] Make sure you have stuff.

[00:02:04] Right.

[00:02:05] I walk in the back.

[00:02:05] I mean, I don't know about you.

[00:02:07] I stack up the capes.

[00:02:09] So that way I have enough for my day.

[00:02:11] I know who's coming in.

[00:02:12] I have enough capes.

[00:02:13] And I get a brand new cape for every single client.

[00:02:15] Because I walked back there in the morning and there wasn't a single clean cape in the back.

[00:02:21] And I was like, what the fuck?

[00:02:23] We're starting up the day with nothing?

[00:02:26] Absolutely nothing.

[00:02:27] Oh, that's how the day started.

[00:02:28] It started with nothing.

[00:02:30] Absolutely nothing.

[00:02:30] It's not like mid-day.

[00:02:32] You're like, oh my God, we haven't caught up on laundry.

[00:02:35] No.

[00:02:36] Who does laundry?

[00:02:37] Don't you guys have someone who does it?

[00:02:39] No, we have the management.

[00:02:40] And they rely on the receptionist to do it.

[00:02:43] You know what I mean?

[00:02:44] Oh, laundry.

[00:02:45] I know.

[00:02:45] I'm used to a housekeeper.

[00:02:47] I'm used to a housekeeper.

[00:02:48] But that's usually what works best in salons, I think, is someone that has one job and it's keeping it organized and clean, really.

[00:02:57] And the capes, like you run out of the capes, what do you do?

[00:03:01] Just not use them?

[00:03:03] If we ran out, I would double robe a client.

[00:03:06] I'd put a robe like the regular way and then one over the front.

[00:03:10] If that was like my only way to keep the hair off of them.

[00:03:15] But I mean, we're charging a lot of money to get your hair done and we don't have any capes.

[00:03:20] Well, I think that most people would just use the same one.

[00:03:25] Yeah.

[00:03:26] And that's what I've noticed, actually.

[00:03:28] Really?

[00:03:28] That people will keep one cape and they just reuse it all day long.

[00:03:34] Ever?

[00:03:34] Every single client.

[00:03:36] Yeah.

[00:03:36] Oh, no, no, no.

[00:03:37] It'll last like a week.

[00:03:39] I've seen them go for like a week where they'll keep the same one at their station.

[00:03:43] And it's not like we have them not being, we're having them washed.

[00:03:46] We're having them washed.

[00:03:48] You know, they're being cleaned.

[00:03:50] Yeah.

[00:03:50] You know, it's not like you can go with a bag.

[00:03:51] I mean, okay.

[00:03:52] The other day, yes, there was none.

[00:03:55] Granted.

[00:03:56] You know what I mean?

[00:03:56] But I mean, there are capes.

[00:03:59] Like, don't just reuse the exact same one because it's your favorite one.

[00:04:02] Because women wear makeup.

[00:04:04] They put it down even.

[00:04:05] There's some women who don't know how to wear makeup properly and they wear it all the way down their neck.

[00:04:09] And then you're transferring this from client to client to client.

[00:04:14] That's not cool.

[00:04:16] When someone smells someone else's cologne on it, it's.

[00:04:21] Yes.

[00:04:21] I didn't think about that.

[00:04:23] Yes.

[00:04:23] And that's happened to me years ago.

[00:04:25] I try to use new ones every time, you know.

[00:04:28] But.

[00:04:29] Yeah.

[00:04:29] Yeah.

[00:04:29] If your case is starting to smell like, you know, like the airport.

[00:04:34] Like, you know, it's starting to smell like, you know, it was the duty free shop at the airport.

[00:04:39] It's time to change that fucking thing.

[00:04:40] Yeah.

[00:04:41] It shouldn't even get to that point.

[00:04:43] Right.

[00:04:43] It shouldn't get to that point.

[00:04:44] It shouldn't even be there.

[00:04:46] Get a clean cape.

[00:04:47] What the fuck are you doing?

[00:04:49] You know, don't keep one for the week long.

[00:04:51] It's like not changing your underwear.

[00:04:53] Well, you know what though?

[00:04:55] Who does that?

[00:04:58] I wouldn't be shocked.

[00:04:59] Yeah.

[00:05:00] You know what I mean?

[00:05:01] Some of the people that we've worked with that they actually do through and get like a good change of undies.

[00:05:06] You know what I mean?

[00:05:07] Because there's been some people I've smelled and I'm like, oh, you better check.

[00:05:10] You better check those fucking chonchons.

[00:05:12] They may have extra in their locker.

[00:05:15] You guys have lockers?

[00:05:17] Yeah, we do.

[00:05:18] They have extra.

[00:05:19] That's really keep their snacks.

[00:05:21] Not change of chonchons.

[00:05:23] What?

[00:05:23] Snack?

[00:05:25] Oh, yeah.

[00:05:26] What do they have in there?

[00:05:28] You should see it.

[00:05:31] Okay.

[00:05:31] I'm going to post this on Instagram.

[00:05:32] If you guys are listening, go to Instagram.

[00:05:35] I will post it on there.

[00:05:36] One of the girls like pulled out like all this stuff out of her locker and it was like Slim Jims and Twix and Reese's and like a cup of noodles or not even like a cup of noodles or something.

[00:05:49] Some sodium filled ramen bowl.

[00:05:51] You know what I mean?

[00:05:52] That's just like all processed.

[00:05:55] You know.

[00:05:55] Is this like a fallout shelter?

[00:05:58] You would think so.

[00:05:59] Yeah.

[00:06:00] I get the candy.

[00:06:02] Like you want to eat sweets and it hits you by or whatever.

[00:06:05] You know.

[00:06:05] The Slim Jims.

[00:06:06] Slim Jims.

[00:06:07] That's what I've blown away.

[00:06:08] Seriously.

[00:06:09] Who eats that nowadays?

[00:06:10] Truckers.

[00:06:11] That's what I thought.

[00:06:13] Yeah.

[00:06:13] I mean, I.

[00:06:14] Not in the 1980s.

[00:06:15] Yeah.

[00:06:16] I know.

[00:06:16] When they came out.

[00:06:18] Yeah.

[00:06:18] When we actually drove all gas cars.

[00:06:20] We should.

[00:06:20] Yeah.

[00:06:23] I mean, I'm all electric now, so I don't have to go to the gasoline station.

[00:06:26] I have not been in one of those like mini marts or whatever, you know, at the gasoline station and.

[00:06:33] You mess it?

[00:06:33] Now.

[00:06:34] Yeah.

[00:06:34] No.

[00:06:35] No.

[00:06:36] But if I ever get a hankery for a Slim Jim, I'll know where to go.

[00:06:39] You know.

[00:06:40] But it wasn't like there's just like one.

[00:06:42] There was like a fistful inside this locker.

[00:06:44] There was a lot.

[00:06:46] Chips Ahoy.

[00:06:47] You name it.

[00:06:48] It was like.

[00:06:48] It was like the beginning stages of diabetes.

[00:06:51] It's a diabetes starter kit.

[00:06:52] That was inside her locker.

[00:06:53] That's what it sounds like.

[00:06:54] Is this person struggle with food or.

[00:06:59] No, they don't.

[00:07:01] That's.

[00:07:01] No, they're young.

[00:07:02] When you're young, you get away with that kind of shit.

[00:07:04] You know what I mean?

[00:07:05] So it's just like.

[00:07:07] It doesn't stop.

[00:07:09] It's a seven year old.

[00:07:11] That's how she eats or who are.

[00:07:13] Yeah.

[00:07:14] I'm assuming it's a girl.

[00:07:15] Um.

[00:07:17] It is.

[00:07:17] Yeah.

[00:07:18] All right.

[00:07:19] Um.

[00:07:19] I'd hate to see the grocery basket.

[00:07:21] You know what I mean?

[00:07:21] It's like chicken nuggets, chicken tenders.

[00:07:24] And you know.

[00:07:25] Oh, yeah.

[00:07:26] What would go good with that?

[00:07:27] Just like frozen French fries or who knows what.

[00:07:29] Ticks with ketchup.

[00:07:31] Exactly.

[00:07:33] Yeah.

[00:07:34] Randy camps.

[00:07:36] A mac and cheese.

[00:07:38] You have that with a little.

[00:07:40] Dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, you know.

[00:07:43] Oh, my God.

[00:07:56] Yours are bad.

[00:07:58] Usually.

[00:07:59] But I clean mine out though.

[00:08:01] I've seen them years ago.

[00:08:03] Mine are melted.

[00:08:04] I blow dry.

[00:08:06] I'll never understand that.

[00:08:08] So like, I don't know what you're doing.

[00:08:10] I don't know if you're holding the lighter on it.

[00:08:12] Or if you're like smashing the hair in between the.

[00:08:16] No, I'm busy.

[00:08:17] I'm busy.

[00:08:17] That's what it is.

[00:08:18] I'm busy.

[00:08:19] That's not how I do it.

[00:08:20] So.

[00:08:21] Well.

[00:08:22] That's okay.

[00:08:23] No, but I'm talking.

[00:08:24] I'm not talking about the condition.

[00:08:26] I've had the same brushes for years.

[00:08:28] I have never melted.

[00:08:29] I'm not talking about the condition of my brushes.

[00:08:31] I am talking about the amount of like hair.

[00:08:35] It looked like they just got done blow drying a Yeti.

[00:08:38] That's nasty.

[00:08:40] And it's nasty.

[00:08:41] Oh, wait.

[00:08:41] They leave it in.

[00:08:42] Yeah.

[00:08:43] And you just put it back inside.

[00:08:45] Don't even clean them out.

[00:08:46] Nothing.

[00:08:46] Never scrape the hair out.

[00:08:47] Nothing.

[00:08:48] So I'll reuse it on someone else with someone else's hair in it.

[00:08:53] I, the looks of it, Jack for months, for months, not like end of the day,

[00:08:59] cleaning all your shit out.

[00:09:00] Like you normally do.

[00:09:01] You know what I mean?

[00:09:01] Get your clips and your combs.

[00:09:03] And you're like, I scrub everything down.

[00:09:05] I clean out the lint trap on my blow dryer.

[00:09:07] Like every day, every day I clean that sucker out.

[00:09:11] That's like how they work.

[00:09:13] That's like to leave hair in it.

[00:09:15] That's something you do for your own brush at home.

[00:09:18] Maybe.

[00:09:19] Correct.

[00:09:20] But they're using it every day and on people who don't know each other, by the way.

[00:09:25] And it's if her work station was like that, I wonder what their bathroom looks like at home.

[00:09:31] You know, it's gross.

[00:09:32] You know it is.

[00:09:34] Oh, you know it is.

[00:09:36] But I mean, think about that.

[00:09:38] I mean, you're not that one brush has got to see at least 100 clients.

[00:09:43] Without being washed.

[00:09:46] It is fucking if you if someone pulls out a brush and there's hair on it.

[00:09:50] Let me tell you, you better like back away.

[00:09:52] You better ask them to clean that brush before they put it onto your head.

[00:09:56] Because you don't know.

[00:09:58] You know, it's like, you know.

[00:09:58] I want to see someone else's hair.

[00:10:01] No.

[00:10:02] Anywhere.

[00:10:03] If it's not attached to their head.

[00:10:05] Once it's detached.

[00:10:07] My clients.

[00:10:08] Get rid of it.

[00:10:09] Throw it away.

[00:10:10] My clients are weird.

[00:10:12] If we come back from a shampoo on short hair and they see their own hair on the chair,

[00:10:17] I have to go through and make sure I sweep it all up or get it out of the way.

[00:10:20] Well, they don't want it on them.

[00:10:21] I don't want to know exactly.

[00:10:23] But imagine someone who you don't know from like a decade ago's hair is still on a brush

[00:10:28] they're using on you.

[00:10:29] Imagine that.

[00:10:30] I'm not going to say anything about that.

[00:10:31] It's fucking disgusting.

[00:10:33] Well, it depends on whose it was.

[00:10:35] You don't know.

[00:10:36] That's the problem.

[00:10:38] That's the thing.

[00:10:38] It's not just used on just one person.

[00:10:40] It has been on like hundreds of people at this point.

[00:10:43] This person who leaves a hair all wrapped around the brush who never cleans it or if you

[00:10:49] were to ask him about it, what might they say?

[00:10:53] Oh, yeah.

[00:10:54] They'd say, oh, I'll get around to it.

[00:10:58] I'll get around to it.

[00:10:59] Yeah, I'm bad about it.

[00:11:01] I'm bad about it.

[00:11:02] That makes it okay.

[00:11:04] What else are you bad about?

[00:11:07] I bet they're the same ones that leave the poopy stains on the underneath of the toilet.

[00:11:12] Yeah.

[00:11:12] You know, the toilet seat, the one that comes down.

[00:11:14] You know, they're probably the ones that go in the bathroom, blow it up or it comes back

[00:11:18] up and get the poop juice on the underneath.

[00:11:21] And they don't.

[00:11:24] God, that's so gross.

[00:11:25] You know, if you've done that, if you've done it, you know, you've done it.

[00:11:28] Yeah, it does happen, I guess, you know.

[00:11:33] Remember the academy back in Long Beach where we had the offices upstairs?

[00:11:37] Yeah.

[00:11:38] And we would teach all the classes down below.

[00:11:40] And every weekend we had to make sure that place was spotless because we're having students

[00:11:43] come in all the time.

[00:11:44] Yeah.

[00:11:45] There was one guy that worked upstairs in the office and he was like the corporate, I don't

[00:11:50] know, secretary.

[00:11:50] I know what his job was.

[00:11:51] And this guy ate McDonald's like it was his second job.

[00:11:56] And he would come downstairs every freaking morning and use the toilet.

[00:12:00] And I'm talking blow it up.

[00:12:03] And we'd already cleaned that fucking bathroom already.

[00:12:06] And I'd walk in there.

[00:12:08] Yeah, leave it.

[00:12:10] Leave it.

[00:12:10] I'm talking like it.

[00:12:12] Well, how would you explain?

[00:12:14] It was like shit went down and it came back up.

[00:12:17] I mean, and it was all over the goddamn toilet.

[00:12:19] And he would just walk away.

[00:12:21] So he just like blasts all that out.

[00:12:23] Yeah.

[00:12:24] And then walks away and it's not his problem anymore.

[00:12:27] He got rid of it.

[00:12:28] Exactly.

[00:12:29] So.

[00:12:30] And there's a whole crew of us downstairs cleaning and making sure this place was spotless

[00:12:33] for students that are coming in and paying a lot of money to take this course.

[00:12:37] What do you do about that?

[00:12:38] You know, it's like you have to play something.

[00:12:40] I did.

[00:12:42] I did.

[00:12:43] After we started going through and actually finding I was only on Tuesdays and Mondays and

[00:12:48] Tuesdays.

[00:12:48] We were open Sunday through Tuesday.

[00:12:51] On Mondays and Tuesdays, it would happen because he wasn't there on Sundays.

[00:12:54] So then what I would do is every time he went in there, he busted it up.

[00:12:58] And I would go back upstairs with rubber gloves, a toilet brush and like some bleach, some type

[00:13:04] of like, you know, toilet cleaner and his hand to him and go, go back downstairs and clean

[00:13:07] it up.

[00:13:08] He got mad at me.

[00:13:09] I'm like, I didn't give a shit.

[00:13:10] I'm all, you know what?

[00:13:11] We want this place spotless.

[00:13:13] He gave you a shit.

[00:13:14] Yeah.

[00:13:14] Yeah.

[00:13:15] To wipe up.

[00:13:16] Yeah, he did.

[00:13:17] And we gave it right back to him.

[00:13:19] I'm like, every time you leave this thing, I'm like, you walk in there, you take this

[00:13:22] in with you.

[00:13:23] Can you clean up afterwards?

[00:13:25] And I made sure I did in front of everybody.

[00:13:27] So everyone knew if you walked in there and you saw that, you knew exactly where it was

[00:13:32] coming from.

[00:13:32] Because we, we made sure we took, it took us months.

[00:13:35] It took us months and we made sure we, I shamed him in front of everybody.

[00:13:39] He cleaned it up.

[00:13:40] He started cleaning it up.

[00:13:41] You know?

[00:13:42] So no more, you know, diarrhea volcano downstairs in the goddamn toilet.

[00:13:48] God.

[00:13:48] Do that at home.

[00:13:57] Yes.

[00:13:58] That was a well.

[00:13:58] But, uh, so are you having a, a, uh, new year's party or what are you doing?

[00:14:05] I imagine.

[00:14:06] Oh, we're raging it up.

[00:14:08] That's what I thought you may do.

[00:14:10] Just like you used to do.

[00:14:11] Like you had a new year's party, like in the mid nineties.

[00:14:15] That was epic.

[00:14:17] That was a, yeah.

[00:14:18] Those photos are still kind of flying around.

[00:14:20] I have seen some.

[00:14:22] And it was, there's a lot of drugs in there.

[00:14:25] I don't know.

[00:14:25] I imagined this year.

[00:14:28] And I was the only one not doing them.

[00:14:30] Yeah.

[00:14:30] Everybody else was fucking, it was, you don't know.

[00:14:33] Coke everywhere in my house.

[00:14:35] You don't know what you're missing.

[00:14:36] And.

[00:14:37] Yeah.

[00:14:37] I imagined this year right around nine o'clock, you'll watch, uh, the ball drop in New York.

[00:14:46] Yep.

[00:14:47] While you're having your glass of warm milk.

[00:14:49] And then you're out.

[00:14:51] A Metamucil.

[00:14:52] A Metamucil.

[00:14:54] Yeah.

[00:14:54] You know, what about you?

[00:14:55] Are you going out for a little toot?

[00:14:57] Have a little fun?

[00:14:58] A little toot?

[00:14:59] No.

[00:15:00] I don't think I'm going to have any toot.

[00:15:02] You're going to be tooting it up, aren't you?

[00:15:04] The only.

[00:15:06] Your tooth's come out the other end now.

[00:15:08] Right.

[00:15:12] That's not happening.

[00:15:14] Um.

[00:15:15] No, you got your, your fentanyl kit out.

[00:15:17] So make sure you're not getting any fentanyl or.

[00:15:19] God.

[00:15:20] People have ruined Coke.

[00:15:21] They have.

[00:15:22] Hexing it with fentanyl.

[00:15:24] Like you have to test that shit now.

[00:15:27] Oh, it was.

[00:15:28] It's ridiculous.

[00:15:28] Is that all over the world?

[00:15:30] I had a client.

[00:15:30] I had a client the other day.

[00:15:32] Yeah.

[00:15:32] No, I had a client the other day.

[00:15:33] I'm like, cause he still does it.

[00:15:35] And I'm like, are you serious?

[00:15:36] You're like 45 years old.

[00:15:38] I'm like, not only that, that shit can kill you now.

[00:15:40] And he goes like, oh no, I have, I have a method.

[00:15:43] And I go, what do you mean?

[00:15:45] He was like, I'm not the first one to ever do it.

[00:15:47] I went, oh shit, dude.

[00:15:50] So if someone else does it, he doesn't test it.

[00:15:52] His tester is his, is his buddy.

[00:15:55] The guy dies.

[00:15:56] You know what I mean?

[00:15:56] The first 30 seconds.

[00:15:57] And he doesn't do it.

[00:15:58] Little does he know he's a fentanyl addict.

[00:16:02] Yeah.

[00:16:03] Right.

[00:16:03] He can handle that.

[00:16:04] You know, he loves it.

[00:16:06] He needs it.

[00:16:07] Is that just happening here in America or is that everywhere you think?

[00:16:12] I have no idea.

[00:16:14] I don't either.

[00:16:14] I am not in that world anymore.

[00:16:16] Dude, I got a four year old.

[00:16:18] I'm good.

[00:16:18] You knew a lot of people like that though.

[00:16:21] That was LA.

[00:16:22] That's everywhere you went.

[00:16:23] You got a taco.

[00:16:24] I knew a lot too.

[00:16:26] You know what I mean?

[00:16:26] Yeah.

[00:16:27] I wasn't that into it.

[00:16:28] You couldn't go to Trader Joe's without buying a fucking gram or something.

[00:16:32] You know what I mean?

[00:16:32] That was just LA.

[00:16:34] You know, it's like.

[00:16:36] Trader Joe's has, um, has eight ball.

[00:16:39] I'm sure they do.

[00:16:40] In LA they do.

[00:16:42] The one on third street.

[00:16:42] I'm sure they do.

[00:16:43] Trader Jose's.

[00:16:44] Uh-huh.

[00:16:45] Exactly.

[00:16:47] Guatemala.

[00:16:48] All right.

[00:16:49] But remember my next door neighbor when I lived in Beverly Hills.

[00:16:52] Yeah.

[00:16:52] He was a publicist and the guy fucking knew everyone in town.

[00:16:56] Absolutely everyone.

[00:16:57] Yeah.

[00:16:58] He really did.

[00:16:58] I don't know how.

[00:17:00] Um, I'm just guessing, uh, the drug connections.

[00:17:04] Usually what it is, you know, it's like,

[00:17:05] it wasn't just that though.

[00:17:07] It was all he had.

[00:17:08] Like, he would rep.

[00:17:10] Sometimes it was like low hands.

[00:17:11] Like the person.

[00:17:12] The Hilton's.

[00:17:13] And like, he was part of that whole like night, like late nineties, early 2000 brat pack-ish

[00:17:18] kind of like crew of people.

[00:17:20] Yeah.

[00:17:21] I mean, he knew all of them, you know, Tara Reid, he repped her for a while.

[00:17:25] You know, there's, that's a different story right there.

[00:17:28] Whoever that is.

[00:17:30] Exactly.

[00:17:31] Yeah.

[00:17:31] I remember who that is anyway.

[00:17:32] I know.

[00:17:33] Ooh, look at pictures of her now.

[00:17:35] Ugh.

[00:17:36] Um, but.

[00:17:38] Pictures of her then.

[00:17:39] Yeah.

[00:17:41] I know.

[00:17:42] So.

[00:17:43] Uh, but Richard would, I mean, no matter what it was like the club.

[00:17:49] I mean, back then it was like hide.

[00:17:50] It was like the big one, but even the Chateau you just couldn't get into.

[00:17:53] And we would stroll in.

[00:17:55] Like it was like, whatever.

[00:17:56] Everyone knew him.

[00:17:57] Yeah.

[00:17:58] And I remember one night we went to a party after.

[00:18:02] I don't know what was going on.

[00:18:04] You know what I mean?

[00:18:04] But we ended up at Oscar de la renta's house up in the Hills and his nephew was staying there

[00:18:11] at the time.

[00:18:12] Okay.

[00:18:13] And he was having like this after party at his place.

[00:18:17] Wow.

[00:18:17] What did his house look like?

[00:18:19] Cause it.

[00:18:20] Fucking.

[00:18:21] It was incredible.

[00:18:22] It was gorgeous.

[00:18:23] I mean, yeah.

[00:18:24] Huge.

[00:18:26] Just, I mean, it was stunning.

[00:18:27] It was like, you know, but we're all kind of fucked up at this point.

[00:18:29] Probably how you would imagine it.

[00:18:30] You know, he's a designer.

[00:18:32] So probably.

[00:18:33] Yeah.

[00:18:34] It was, it was, it was beautiful.

[00:18:35] But, um, we were there and I'm sitting with his nephew on the couch and we're talking and

[00:18:41] we'd made have been at this party for maybe like 10 minutes.

[00:18:44] And all of a sudden all these dinner plates come out.

[00:18:48] Oh, they're serving food.

[00:18:50] Yeah.

[00:18:51] If you like to snort your food, because every plate was mirrored at the bottom.

[00:18:57] So it wasn't for food.

[00:18:58] You know what I mean?

[00:18:59] Unless you want your enchiladas looking back at you, you know what I mean?

[00:19:02] As you're eating it.

[00:19:02] No, it was like, this was just for Coke.

[00:19:06] And each plate had like a mountain of Coke on it.

[00:19:08] They're floating around the rooms inside this house.

[00:19:12] So dinner was served yet.

[00:19:15] No one was hungry.

[00:19:16] Imagine that.

[00:19:17] Yeah.

[00:19:18] Yeah.

[00:19:19] Interesting.

[00:19:19] You know, you had a great dinner party when no one's eating the food.

[00:19:22] You know what I mean?

[00:19:22] It's like, yeah.

[00:19:24] It's like we're paying for all this.

[00:19:25] You really, you guys know we could have done this over drinks, right?

[00:19:28] Yeah.

[00:19:29] Yeah.

[00:19:29] But I'm sitting next to him on the couch and he does a line and he hands me this plate.

[00:19:36] And I take the plate and I hand it to the girl next to me.

[00:19:40] And he's like Dominican and he's looking at me and he goes, Hey, what are you doing?

[00:19:45] I'm like talking to you.

[00:19:47] He goes, no, no, no, no, man.

[00:19:48] What are you doing?

[00:19:50] And I'm like, I'm dumb here at this party, hanging out with you, sitting on the couch.

[00:19:55] I don't know.

[00:19:55] What do you want me to say?

[00:19:56] I don't know.

[00:19:57] I'm just here with you.

[00:19:58] He goes, don't you do no Coke?

[00:20:01] I'm like, no, I don't.

[00:20:03] And my buddy Richard's with me and he's like, no, he's like, he looks at this guy and he's

[00:20:07] like, he doesn't.

[00:20:09] He's never has.

[00:20:10] He's actually like pushed out.

[00:20:11] He doesn't give a shit about it.

[00:20:12] Like everybody else is like dreaming about it.

[00:20:15] Just like, oh, I can't wait to go through and do something.

[00:20:17] You know, he's like, Jason doesn't give a shit.

[00:20:19] And he goes, he looks at me and goes, don't you ever fucking do it.

[00:20:24] Don't you ever do this shit.

[00:20:26] But if you ever do Coke, you do my Coke.

[00:20:29] I got the best in LA.

[00:20:31] And literally like right on cue, the girl next to me that I pass a plate to, she goes,

[00:20:36] yeah, no, it's true.

[00:20:38] He's got the bed.

[00:20:39] This is good shit.

[00:20:40] Oh, you're making my nose itch.

[00:20:42] I know.

[00:20:42] No.

[00:20:44] I was like, oh my God.

[00:20:47] I was like, I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm good.

[00:20:50] But those were the parties in LA.

[00:20:52] You know what I mean?

[00:20:52] It was like every time you went out to an after party, someone's house, there was a shit

[00:20:56] ton of Coke everywhere.

[00:20:58] Everywhere.

[00:20:59] And, and, and it's just being a hairdresser there.

[00:21:02] It's just every, no matter who it is, who you meet, whether it's clients or your neighbor

[00:21:09] or other hairdressers or people who work in industry, you know, they're all, I want to

[00:21:16] live like rock stars.

[00:21:17] Yeah.

[00:21:18] They're rock stars without the money.

[00:21:19] Sure.

[00:21:20] Yeah.

[00:21:20] If you want, if you want to find Coke really quick, go to a hair salon in the daytime and

[00:21:25] nighttime, go to a strip club in LA.

[00:21:26] You're going to find Coke.

[00:21:28] It's all over the goddamn place.

[00:21:29] You know what I mean?

[00:21:30] If you don't just find it just, you know, at your neighborhood grocery store, you know,

[00:21:33] some skateboarder selling to you out front.

[00:21:34] But even in the hairdressing world, like you were saying, I've worked with a ton of

[00:21:40] distributors back when I was teaching all the time.

[00:21:43] And we would always have like these big shows and some of the places that we went to, oh

[00:21:48] God, there was one in Costa Rica.

[00:21:50] Yeah.

[00:21:51] That was just fucking crazy because all the distributors went there.

[00:21:54] So it was centralized.

[00:21:55] And imagine like South America or even central's probably even worse.

[00:22:01] Well, you know, nowadays people go down there just for a cocaine book.

[00:22:04] Oh, vacation.

[00:22:05] You know, people go down to Guatemala, go to Nicaragua.

[00:22:08] That's why have you heard about the cartels in Mexico?

[00:22:11] They don't want you touching the tourists.

[00:22:12] For years.

[00:22:13] Yeah.

[00:22:14] You know, everyone's like, oh, I'm afraid to go to Mexico.

[00:22:16] I'm like, no, the cartels don't want you touched because you're going down there and

[00:22:20] buying so much cocaine.

[00:22:21] They don't want to go through and ruin their, you know, stream of revenue.

[00:22:25] And that's the tourists from the United States going down there and just partying

[00:22:29] it up.

[00:22:29] Yeah.

[00:22:30] And they know it.

[00:22:32] But so I remember all the distributors loved it.

[00:22:36] When I came down, I always brought, I always bring them Jack Daniels, like Gentleman's

[00:22:39] Jack.

[00:22:40] Yeah.

[00:22:41] Because they didn't get that down there.

[00:22:43] Yeah.

[00:22:44] They'd get Jack Daniels.

[00:22:45] They never, they loved like Gentleman's Jack or like the higher end shit.

[00:22:48] And I always got really good jobs.

[00:22:50] They always requested me.

[00:22:51] Number one, I speak Spanish.

[00:22:52] Number two, I'd always like bring him stuff or like a little gift or something like that.

[00:22:55] And yeah, so I saw one of the distributors by the pool and we're at this huge resort and

[00:23:01] we're doing, it's a convention center slash resort.

[00:23:04] Right.

[00:23:05] And we were just fucking partying up the entire time.

[00:23:08] Everyone's drinking and eating.

[00:23:10] It's having a blast.

[00:23:11] There's like models everywhere.

[00:23:12] And just, it was, it was insane.

[00:23:15] So I ran into the distributor from Puerto Rico and he and I always got along, but you know,

[00:23:22] it was always a work relationship.

[00:23:23] And I go, Oh, I looked at him.

[00:23:25] I saw him and go, I got something for you in my room.

[00:23:27] And he goes, Oh, I have something for you in my room as well too.

[00:23:30] He's like, meet me up there at my room.

[00:23:33] Here's my suite number.

[00:23:34] And I'm like, okay.

[00:23:34] So I went over and I got a bottle of the Jack and I went and got some ice and I walk

[00:23:42] over and knock on his door and big double doors.

[00:23:45] You mean to the suite, just gorgeous, you know, opens it up and, and I go walking in.

[00:23:51] And again, there is a fucking mountain of cocaine sitting in the middle of the room.

[00:23:58] And this is like a nice room.

[00:24:00] Oh my God.

[00:24:01] Like two stories.

[00:24:02] I mean, it's gorgeous suite.

[00:24:03] It's not a Disney resort.

[00:24:05] Is it?

[00:24:06] No, I didn't.

[00:24:08] It was, it was Disneyland for your nose.

[00:24:10] Okay.

[00:24:11] You know what I mean?

[00:24:11] Did not for, you know, not for the kiddos.

[00:24:14] That's for sure.

[00:24:15] Winter Disneyland.

[00:24:17] Exactly.

[00:24:18] Skiing in Costa Rica.

[00:24:19] That's what, you know, Costa Rica.

[00:24:24] But we're, I'm saying, but that wasn't it though.

[00:24:27] So I'm walking in and I give him the Jack Daniels and he's like, Oh, thanks man.

[00:24:32] It's not.

[00:24:32] He's like, yeah, I got something for you too.

[00:24:33] And all of a sudden I see these girls inside this room and let's put it this way.

[00:24:39] They naked.

[00:24:41] Yeah.

[00:24:42] No, really?

[00:24:43] Yeah.

[00:24:44] Just kidding.

[00:24:44] No, but they.

[00:24:45] No.

[00:24:46] And then they saw me walk in and one of them try to cover up with a sheet.

[00:24:50] You know what I mean?

[00:24:50] And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

[00:24:52] And these girls looked young, dude.

[00:24:54] They looked young.

[00:24:55] Oh, I'm talking like, yeah, not 18.

[00:24:58] I mean, they're not like young, young.

[00:25:00] I'm talking like maybe like 16.

[00:25:02] I don't know.

[00:25:03] And I know in certain countries that's legal.

[00:25:05] They don't have to be 18 years old.

[00:25:07] But as I know in England, it's like, it's like 15, 16 years old is like legal age over there.

[00:25:12] Yeah.

[00:25:13] But the guy who had the Coke who invited you is not a teenager.

[00:25:20] He's got Coke and hookers for me.

[00:25:22] You know what I mean?

[00:25:23] And I'm like, oh.

[00:25:24] Well, that was nice.

[00:25:25] And I've never done Coke with him before.

[00:25:27] Well, hey, you know what?

[00:25:28] It's very thoughtful.

[00:25:30] But, you know, I'm sorry I don't do a little toot with you.

[00:25:32] But.

[00:25:33] It was your birthday.

[00:25:34] Was it your birthday?

[00:25:35] No, it was in the middle of summer.

[00:25:37] No.

[00:25:37] In October.

[00:25:38] But it seriously, if you get that feeling.

[00:25:43] And it's that I was I was I was freaked out, dude.

[00:25:46] And not like that.

[00:25:48] I got this overwhelming sense of sadness for these girls.

[00:25:51] You know what I mean?

[00:25:52] Because it didn't seem like they were there just to have a good time.

[00:25:55] You know what I mean?

[00:25:56] It was like they're they knew they were there for a reason.

[00:25:58] And they see more than one guy coming in.

[00:26:01] You know what I mean?

[00:26:02] It was like they get nervous.

[00:26:04] They get nervous.

[00:26:05] And you can feel that.

[00:26:08] Yeah.

[00:26:08] And it was just like, I mean, and I got that feeling from them.

[00:26:12] And I'm like, I'm like, yeah, you want to know, man?

[00:26:13] I bet.

[00:26:14] I did.

[00:26:15] I had to because I said, hey, I got something else going.

[00:26:17] I got to meet a different distributor.

[00:26:18] And I guess.

[00:26:19] Oh, yeah.

[00:26:19] Yeah.

[00:26:19] Come back later.

[00:26:20] Come back later.

[00:26:20] You know how they are.

[00:26:21] Oh, yeah.

[00:26:22] Yeah.

[00:26:22] No problem.

[00:26:22] Yeah.

[00:26:23] Yeah.

[00:26:23] Yeah.

[00:26:23] 100 miles an hour.

[00:26:24] And they tell you about their mom and everything's going on in their life.

[00:26:27] And everything's wrapped up in five minutes.

[00:26:29] And you're walking out the door because you've heard everything already.

[00:26:31] Yeah.

[00:26:31] Five minutes.

[00:26:32] They're talking so fast.

[00:26:35] Like you walk in and there's kids in there.

[00:26:38] It.

[00:26:39] Oh, dude.

[00:26:40] It was so.

[00:26:41] It's.

[00:26:42] Yeah.

[00:26:42] Yeah.

[00:26:43] I get.

[00:26:43] Um, you walk in, have a feeling like this isn't right.

[00:26:47] There's nothing wrong here.

[00:26:48] It's probably like you're walking in on a crime.

[00:26:51] You know.

[00:26:52] Yeah.

[00:26:53] Oh.

[00:26:53] Yeah.

[00:26:54] That was what was about to happen.

[00:26:56] You know what I mean?

[00:26:56] And you want to let's just say it was legal down there.

[00:26:59] It would feel criminal to me.

[00:27:00] You know what I mean?

[00:27:00] I'm like.

[00:27:00] Yeah.

[00:27:01] I got to go.

[00:27:02] You know, it's just because you're used to something and that works for in your country

[00:27:06] or whatever it is.

[00:27:07] If I don't feel right about it, I'm fucking bouncing, dude.

[00:27:09] I am not sticking around for this shit.

[00:27:11] That just doesn't feel good.

[00:27:12] Where did you go back to your room to drink milk?

[00:27:15] Yep.

[00:27:16] Milk and cookies.

[00:27:17] Exactly.

[00:27:17] As you.

[00:27:18] Exactly.

[00:27:18] Yeah.

[00:27:18] Got my old Guinean Bible.

[00:27:20] I did a prayer.

[00:27:28] And now for the last shitology of the year.

[00:27:32] Hey, Jack.

[00:27:32] What's up?

[00:27:33] Would you trade shirts with a complete stranger?

[00:27:35] Most likely not.

[00:27:37] Would you greet your client by licking them in the back of the neck?

[00:27:40] Absolutely not.

[00:27:42] Then why do people think it's okay to go through and use the same cape on 17 different people?

[00:27:47] You might as well just ask your clients to go through and just lick themselves on the neck

[00:27:50] on each every single different one of them.

[00:27:53] All right.

[00:27:54] Let's create a plan this year.

[00:27:56] Okay.

[00:27:57] I mean, how about some New Year's resolutions?

[00:28:00] Oh, here we go.

[00:28:02] Start it off with clean your brushes and wash all of your tools.

[00:28:07] Yes.

[00:28:08] Use a clean cape on every client.

[00:28:12] And wash your hands.

[00:28:14] For God's sake.

[00:28:15] Especially after you go through and use that toilet and have a butt rupture.

[00:28:19] All right.

[00:28:19] Make sure that toilet stays nice and clean afterwards.

[00:28:22] And if you find yourself in Costa Rica this year.

[00:28:25] Yeah.

[00:28:26] Do us all a solid and stick with hanging with adults with valid identification and drinking coffee.

[00:28:34] I heard it's real good there.

[00:28:36] And with that, have a shitty New Year.

[00:29:08] Hey, listener persons.

[00:29:09] If you like us, tell 10 of your friends.

[00:29:10] And if you hate us, tell 20.

[00:29:12] And remember, stay shitty, listener persons.

[00:29:15] Just sit three feet swimming with hands.

[00:29:15] We'll be right back.