Home wrecker opportunist

[00:00:00] Hey Jack, he has some really nice feet. I need you to hold your head up. Do you want your haircut or not? Can I have your socks?

[00:00:22] Hello and welcome to Shit I Told My Hairdresser. Brand new episode, brand new day, brand new Jack and a brand new Jason. Hi Jason. How are you brand new Jack? Just all shiny and new. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, you look good. You haven't paid in a while.

[00:00:43] That, yeah, I know. Oh well. You know, when you're at home. It's okay. I can't smell you. It's fine. Yeah. Just all scruffy. Doesn't bother me. Exactly. All right. So we've asked for your voicemails. We've asked for your emails and you guys have been sending some. So we're actually going to go through and do some of that today.

[00:01:06] If you guys haven't, please go through and smash up those likes or wherever you get our podcast. Please go through and give us a rating. Give us a review. It likes our, it likes that kind of thing. It likes the algorithm likes it. And we like to grow. We want to go through and grow with everybody.

[00:01:24] So go ahead and tell 10, tell 10, tell 10, tell 10, tell 10 people that you like or 20 that you hate about Jack and I. And if you want to go through and send us an email, go to info at shit. I told my hairdresser.com or go to our website at shit. I told my hairdresser.com. You can leave us a voicemail. You can leave us a voicemail there. If you want to get your voice onto the show, let us know. And, uh, we'll go through and do that today.

[00:01:55] So what do you think? We have an email. We do. Let's hear it. All right. So exciting. I love these. These are my favorite really. Absolutely. Uh, see here. The latest episode of the salon owner getting blown by the main receptionist makes me think of Giuseppe Franco. Salon, which, okay. I know I've known people that work there and that's like right on the nose.

[00:02:25] I mean, yeah, it's like a worst of the worst, like just total, uh, debauchery rugs and sex and not even hiding it. No, it's just like, it's like a bro. We bro salon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But this person, she doesn't actually work at that salon. It's a mother one, right? I don't know. All it says is that it reminds her of that salon.

[00:02:53] So I don't think she knows people that work there like we do, you know, so we know the story behind, you know, so that's why it makes us laugh. We don't know. Okay. We've heard. So, uh, I'm assuming she doesn't work there that she's just using it as a reference. I think so. We know what type of situation this is. Good reference because we definitely get it. And, uh, now everybody knows.

[00:03:20] So I'm using an alias because I'd lose my clientele if they knew I was spilling the tea. Buckle up boys. This could get bumpy. Years ago, I worked at a high brow salon in Beverly Hills. The owner started steering well-known people to my chair. I was petrified. I had only been out of beauty school for a year and a half. And at this point, I didn't feel like I had the skills needed to work on these people. Like what if I botched their hair and they went around trashing me?

[00:03:49] I brought the concerns up to the owner telling him I wasn't comfortable with him making me work on these well-known people. His reply, if you mess up, just tell them it's the new it thing. I was shocked. I was like, what? He said, yeah, they'll believe damn near anything you tell them. I feel like he jinxed me because the next five well-known men, I jacked their hair pretty badly.

[00:04:16] They had no clue, but you know how it is. You know, you yourself know. I was horrified. I gave myself a complex. I repeated the owner's untruth that it was the next it thing for men. You know what? They believe me. Fast forward eight months and lo and behold, the jacked up haircut did become the next it thing. I swear. I laughed so hard when I had men filling my books requesting this jacked up hairstyle.

[00:04:46] I secretly called it the jack off because every dude who requested it was a total douchebag. You know a few of those. Yeah, yeah. That's the tale of my screw-up turning into something deemed sensational. Keep up the good works, fellas. I'm grateful I found a place to anonymously tell my stories. Well, thank you, Anonymous. Anonymous. Now, here's what it means. Okay.

[00:05:13] Just like there's a lot of stylists in Beverly Hills who they don't really know how to do hair all that well at the beginning. And they're hired because they're hot or something like that. And so this guy hired her most likely for that reason and sent her all the guys who like getting a haircut, other girls. And whatever she does at this salon that's probably well-known, they just take it. Yeah.

[00:05:43] They're happy with it. If you do it, that means it's cool. So that's what happened. That's awesome. I wonder who it was, though. There's a pretty girl running their hands through my hair and shampooing me. You know what I mean? She's pretty. I don't give a shit what it looks like. They don't care. They don't care. If she likes it, they like it. Correct. That's all it is. And so I wonder what haircut this is.

[00:06:06] So like if it's more recent, I would want to say like it's the Bieber haircut, which is actually like a modern Beatles haircut anyway. But yeah, it seems a little more recent. It seems more recent. I'm wondering if it was like how long ago. So maybe it's one of those like stupid ones we're seeing now, like the broccoli top. The broccoli top. Is that what they call it? Yeah. That's what you call it.

[00:06:36] How many in? No, that's what they call it. It's called the broccoli top and they're asking for perms. So let's take a bowl cut with the perm. Are they really? Look like. Yeah, you look like someone's Nana. Or, you know, you look like Richard Simmons or something, you know, and they're not washing it. They wash their hair once a week and they're putting this like dusty powder in it to make it really stiff and hard. So it sticks up and stays all clumpy. And so and they're playing sports, too.

[00:07:04] So as soon as you hit them with water, you get that smell. It's like, fuck. And they and they're pissed off. They have to wash their hair. They're pissed off. You have to wash it just to cut it. Oh, that sounds a lot like you in the mid 90s. That was me. Yeah. You didn't wash your hair at all. Ever. Once a week. No. Sundays is my day. You went longer than that. Did I? Like two or three weeks or whatever. You weren't even using product in your hair anymore.

[00:07:33] I didn't have to. It was gross and it smelled nasty. It was the 90s. Yeah. Well, yeah. I smell like a secret. You know, that's all that mattered. It was that Euro trash kind of a long hair look to it. You know, it's back when I had hair. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. He must have like sunk like like had that hippie funk coming off our heads. You know? Yeah. You smell like patchouli. I did. I know.

[00:08:01] I smelled that the other day and it reminded me of mid 90s. I would wear that on my hair like a damn hippie. And I can't even believe I smelled that. I smelled like cigarettes also. But that's the thing is like these guys that come in for these haircuts. I mean, you have to imagine like the people that she's probably talking about. If she's working in Beverly Hills, these are people coming in spending like a couple hundred dollars for a haircut. Yeah.

[00:08:30] So these are older men who are trying to look young or especially when we work there. These are guys are coming in these douchebags. So it come in just for blow dries. So they would have long hair as I had one guy who had a standing blow dry appointment every freaking week. He would come in and have me blow dries. And he was such a fucking douchebag.

[00:08:54] And he'd always come in to go through and he was always hitting on the girls as he came inside the salon. And one thing that I always remembered as well, too, this is going to get you when I say this. All right. Yeah. If you especially if you were wearing open toed shoes or something like that, sandals, he'd always make a comment about your feet. Oh, come on. And, you know, right. Is it? Hey, you have great feet. Those are. Yeah. I like your toenail collar.

[00:09:23] I mean, it was just something like girls love that. Yeah. And you like drool on their toes. Yeah. In fact, the girl next to me, she used to have clients that would move their appointments because we'd have standing appointments. Yeah. And the people, they would see the guy the exact same time every single time. So they started moving their appointments around so they wouldn't have to see him when they came inside the salon to get their hair done. He was that big of a douche.

[00:09:49] They're like going in and they're like heavy clothes, like with a park on. So he doesn't stare at their body, even though it's 90 degrees outside. He'd always be in my chair getting his hair done. And he'd always turn the chair so he could talk to other people around there. I'm like, stop moving the chair. Like, keep it forward. You know, but he would move it so he could angle himself towards other women. I'm like, knock it off. No, it's the reason he's even in there. It's not for his hair. That's just a reason.

[00:10:18] So he can hang out in there for 20 minutes or whatever. And that was the thing. If he just walked in to do that, you would have to call the cops. But if he's paying, well, you let him stay a little bit. Yeah. But when you have some of those guys that would go through and request like a certain haircut, they show you a picture of something. You're like, no, I don't want to do that. I have one guy that comes in every three months, wants the exact same haircut. And then he's got like this.

[00:10:48] It's like, oh, God, it looks like butt fuzz. I mean, it is just like this pubic hair hanging off his head. And he wants it to cut like a straight bob. Right. But then when you're done, he wants a flat ironed. So he looks like Lord Fawquah. When he leaves the salon and all the girls are like, what did you just do? I'm like, this is what he wants. He's paying a couple hundred bucks for me to do this. So he wants a bob. He wears a bob. Yeah. He wears a bob. He wears a bob.

[00:11:18] He wants it flat on because there's all this fuzzy hair. So he wants it dead straight. Huh. You know what I mean? And I'm like, what cosplay are you going to be doing tonight? Because you look fucking weird. What color is it? Brown. Brown and bald. Certain spots. You know what I mean? It's like he's starting to lose his hair as well, too. But he likes it dead straight. But he looks like Lord Fawquah. I mean, it looks terrible. Does he walk around like he's hot? Fucking loves it, too. Wow. He loves it. He loves it because he tips nearly like 50%.

[00:11:48] Every time I flat iron his hair, we have time to flat iron it and get it nice and dead straight. He'll tip over 50% for that. He fucking loves it. Okay. And I'm like vomiting my mouth as I'm doing it. You know? Because everyone's watching, too. And I'm like trying to hide. You know what I mean? But I'm like the only guy there at the salon. So I'm like, fuck, you know who I am. Yeah. You know? But it's like those haircuts that you fucking hate doing. You got to do it. You're paying for it. You like it, I think. You like helping people feel good. That's nice of you.

[00:12:18] That's who I am. Yep. That's exactly who I am. No, it's not. Let me be of assistance. And we're back. All right. So we're going to jump over to someone who left us a voicemail. It did cut out. So we need to go through and kind of fill in some of the blanks here a little bit because it went from that to an email.

[00:12:42] But if you'd like to go through and get your voice onto our show, please go through and visit us at shititoldmyhairdruster.com. Hit the green icon with a microphone on it and leave us a voicemail. Keep it closer by three minutes or so or a little bit less than it cuts off about that point. But let's go through and get over to the voicemail. Here we go. Hello. I love listening to your podcasts. I've heard a few now.

[00:13:11] I've been hairdressing for 34 years. I'm Australian. And what I love about your stories is they remind me about things that I've gone through on my job for some of your stories. And I've gone through some of the things you've explained. So it's just fantastic to hear your messages, podcasts. And I have got a story I thought I would share. Okay. Okay.

[00:13:40] I know what everyone is thinking. What in the hell is she saying? Well, luckily enough, I speak Australian. So I'm going to go through and translate this into English for you. Thank you. All right. For doing that. Yeah. We kid. It was because the recording cut off and it wasn't a good quality. All right. So I'm going to go through and carry on with the rest of the story here. All right. Because it does get a little juicy. That's for sure.

[00:14:11] All right. So I got a story I thought I would share. I've got one of those regulars who was recommended to me from another lady. Another regular. The person who was a regular I've been doing for a very long time. Her name is Olga. She recommended this new lady who I've been doing for quite a while now. And so the new one's name is Roxy. So let's see here. I'm trying to go through and translate this. I apologize, guys.

[00:14:41] She's trying to go through and also I'll change the names here. Make it a little easier on everybody. Let's see here. Roxy is just a nice, sweet lady. And there's a big group of friends. So Roxy and I've been doing for a while. And she's always dressed in sportswear. Just casual. She would always tell me about she would fantasize about how she would love to get with one of her friends' husbands.

[00:15:05] She just wants to be with one or marry one of them and break up the marriage. She just wants to get with one of her friends' husbands and she would say it. Okay. Okay. So how many husbands are there that she's going after? I think all of them. Because it's plural, isn't it? You know what I mean? Yeah. It was husbands. Let's just say that there's three of them. We got to unpack this a little bit here. Yeah.

[00:15:35] Three of them maybe. Okay. And so it's not like she likes one of them and she wishes she could be with them. It's really any of them. I don't think it matters at this point. It's... This is a fantasy. This idea of hooking up with someone else's husband. Yeah. Because it's wrong. That's really what she is. She likes that. What's up with that? I don't know. That's kind of fucked up. I mean, don't get me wrong. I have people have told me like, hey, I got a great story for you.

[00:16:05] You know, about a family who's been, you know, people are getting divorced and the wife changed all the locks of their house. And when he got home, he wasn't allowed in the house. And I'm like, okay, that's a great story. No, this is about a woman who is premeditatedly wanting to go through and wreck marriages. Yeah.

[00:16:25] And she has this fantasy and she's telling this woman, her hairstylist, but not only that, the hairstylist knows the people who are in her group because she does their hair as well. Yeah. She knows who she's talking about. So... Yeah. This is a rotten woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a slutty homewrecker. Yeah. Um, hell yeah. Okay. All right.

[00:16:51] So she just wants to get with one of her friend's husbands every now and again for a few years, over the years, I've been doing her hair and it was just always thought it would never happen. I thought it was weird, but obviously one of her friends was having an issue and started flirting or whatever. And so she told me that she's going to be in a relationship with one of her friends as they were separating. Oh.

[00:17:20] She didn't give me too many details. She didn't give me too many details. And now this has been going on for a couple of years now. And each time I do her hair, she tells me something else is a bit shocking about the relationship. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. So she got one of them. Yep. She got one of them. And so here's what she was waiting on someone to have problems maybe. And she just saw that and jumped on it. It's an opportunity.

[00:17:51] Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh, okay. Well, let me guess. Uh, the woman has no idea. It's been going on for two years. Yeah. A couple of years. It says here. Yeah. Look, and how about him? He's like cheating on his wife. With one of the group of people, one of the women. Yeah. So he's just the biggest piece of shit as she is. I mean, but she went in, here's the thing though. She went in knowing she wanted to do it. He didn't go in that way. Probably. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:20] So he probably, he wasn't happy. She recognized it and, um, he's rolling with it. He's like, well, I wasn't happy and we're not getting along. So why not? So continue on. She's kept a secret from her group of friends and I'm in a little salon, just one-on-one soul trading. I've been doing this for about 12 years now. And she's just keeps shocking me. And one day I did her hair. I did her hair.

[00:18:49] And she was telling me about the wife that they're still married. So she's dating a guy. That's what she's saying. And they're still married. So this is just something on the side. All right. Okay. And so she's gone from being one of the group of friends. Okay. So now I need to go through the voicemail cut out and I did ask her for a follow-up with an email.

[00:19:13] And what ends up happening is that the woman who she's basically got her was like home wrecked, right? Her and her husband are very wealthy people. Yeah. And the husband and the home wrecker were going to run off together. Right. We'll come to find out that the woman, that it was family money and there was a, uh, a prenup. So she, when she, as soon as she found out those two were going to run away together,

[00:19:43] she goes through, changes all the credit cards, changes everything, changes all the bank accounts. Okay, good. Now they have nothing. Okay, good. And actually explains why he went ahead and, um, cheated on her for two years or more and he never left her. You know, he just wanted the money. He's like, no, I'm not leaving her. She's my meal. The finished part of that, the finished part of the email though, is that he leaves the

[00:20:10] other woman and goes back to his wife with the one with the money because he has no cash. Yeah. Well, you know, you have priorities. Right. You know, which are food and clothing in a 10,000 square foot house. Oh, wait. He broke it off with Roxy. That cheating whore. Exactly. Broke it off with her. Cause there's no money in it. Yeah. There's no money in it. How about that? So he stayed with money instead.

[00:20:37] I wonder if Roxy was, uh, she was after money too. So it could have been. He did. Yeah. She just wanted her life. Her motive was a fantasy though. Yeah. That's what it is. It's she saw her life. She loved it. She wanted it. She tried her hardest to get it and she almost got her wish. Yeah. Almost. But she wanted a husband. I wish she wanted a husband, but I don't know if she did or not. But, you know, cause she was like, she's willing to do multiple.

[00:21:06] I don't know what that says right there. She was like, I'm, I'm in it for any, anyone. I can, you know, go through and wreck their marriage. She just likes it because it's naughty. Yeah. There's a lot of people out there who they either don't care or they really do it because they like the sneaking around, you know? It's exciting. The thrill. I guess. The hunt. I just like, you lose friends like that. Maybe. You're a piece of shit. You shouldn't have any friends. Right.

[00:21:33] If that's what you're going to do to your friends, you shouldn't be your, you shouldn't be a friend. No ship. No one should be a friend to you. Cause that's fucked up. But put yourself in that hairdresser's position. She does these group of friends. She does their hair. And one of them is trying to infiltrate them. Yeah. And trying to get their husbands and wreck their marriage. What do you do there? Well, I mean, we've all had those situations before I've had. I've heard about that, you know, like clients.

[00:22:02] I do one of them wants to leave them or they've already broken up and one's nosing around. And I don't say anything. It depends on who I like better. Yeah. Well, I actually had that happen. I had a woman come in one time and she was telling me that she was going to go through and divorce her husband. She was going to tell him that night. And I was cutting her husband's hair next. Yeah. They came in. No, it was like, it was a couple hours later. That's what it was. Cause they came in separate cars.

[00:22:32] Now here's the thing. I liked the husband better than I liked her. I didn't like her. She was kind of a bitch. And he sits in my chair. And all I could think of is like, you don't even know what's waiting for you. When you get home, you're like, Hey, Hey, I got some bad news for you. No, I didn't say a word. It's I did not say, cause that's not my place. I don't think that's my place, but here's the thing though. I guess, guess what? They're still together. She didn't do it. So what if you had imagined?

[00:23:01] Oh, right. I would have been fucked. Yeah. You know, but we've all had it. I've had the guy come in where I'm doing him, his wife, both of his kids. And next thing you know, he's bringing in his secretary to get her hair done. Yep. Yeah. You know, I remember the other woman card. Yeah. They kept a credit card on file. I remember the wife asking why the prices were so much. He had no idea that they're paying for a, you know, a fifth person. Yeah. Like no clue. And I'm not going to say anything. You know what I mean?

[00:23:31] Cause there's money coming through the door. You know what I mean? But not only that, he's like paying me extra, tipping me more money to keep my mouth shut. I want some anonymity. He's not telling you not to say anything. It's just sort of a, um, handshake with money in it. Yeah. Wink, wink. But it's also not my place to say anything. If you have a suspicion, then you want to, if you were, if you're a woman and you have a suspicion that something's happening, something's happening.

[00:23:59] Otherwise you wouldn't have that suspicion. No, that's not always true. I've, I've, I've been. I think women are very intuitive. I'm accused of cheating and I really wasn't. So, and, uh, did you let her smell your dick? People are like, I'm not here. Are you kidding? Oh, but no people are just really, uh, paranoid. Yeah. Oh God. Yeah.

[00:24:24] So, but remember we had those two bosses that were married and I remember going to their house for dinner and here it is. You're sitting there with your bosses. They both own the salon company that you work for and it's a big company. And I remember after dinner, sort of the wife walks over to me and she goes, listen,

[00:24:48] if you ever see or hear that my husband is cheating on me, I bet you better come and tell me immediately. Now, what kind of a shitty situation did you just put me in by saying that to me? Yeah. And, um, I'm like, uh, Oh, and I'm young too. He was exactly. And he was cheating. He just happened to work her way into that situation. And anyway, yeah. Yeah. What do you do?

[00:25:18] I don't messed up part of it though, was that he was engaged to somebody else when they got together and then they got married. He told the girl he was engaged to that he was engaged to somebody else. Yeah. You know? So she did the exact same. She knew who she was getting in bed with. She knew. And then she tries to put it on other people's shoulders to tell her if something's happening behind her back. And of course I'm like, uh, yeah, I'll tell you. Are you fucking kidding me?

[00:25:47] I already knew. I was like, nope, I ain't saying shit. No. You know? You got a whole record. Yeah. No. I wasn't sleeping with him, so I didn't care. It's time for that shitology. Jack, drop some shit on me. So you look at your current husband and think, why? Why do I do this to myself?

[00:26:16] Maybe you would like an upgrade. Maybe you would like to meet someone new. This is a waste of time. Your next husband is someone you already know well. Someone who already knows you. He already knows what you like to order off a menu. And he's already a husband. That's right. He's your best friend's husband. But not for long, if you play your cards right. Slut. Speaking of assholes, if your douchebag client walks in the salon asking for the new it haircut,

[00:26:46] say, I gotcha. You're getting the cock top. What's that? Oh, you know. It's where you go through and make your head look like your genitalia. How do you do that? Well, there's two ways. You either got to go through and perm it with the small rods or you get a pube transplant. That way, the drapes are the carpet. And with that, stay shitty. Hey, listener persons. Thanks for listening. And if you like our show, please help us grow the podcast by giving us a rating and review

[00:27:14] on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Prime, or wherever you get your favorite shit. It definitely helps our algorithm and it's free to do. If you'd like to get your story on our podcast, go to our website at shititoldmyhairdresser.com where you can get your voicemail on our show by using the green mic icon. Or you can send us an email at info at shititoldmyhairdresser.com. And if you like us, tell 10 of your friends. And if you hate us, tell 20.

[00:27:41] And remember, stay shitty, listener persons.