You're FIRED | The Funniest Salon Story You’ll Hear This Week
Meta Description: Former Beverly Hills stylists Jason & Jack share the hilarious true story of a fired salon client who refused to leave — even after being told “you’re done.”
💈 Welcome to the Madness Behind the Chair
If you’ve ever worked in the beauty industry, you know this: firing a client is harder than firing an employee. Especially when they refuse to believe it actually happened.
In this episode of Sh!t I Told My Hairdresser, hosts Jason and Jack — two former Beverly Hills stylists turned comedy podcasters — take listeners inside a wild real-life story about a woman named Mary, a client who simply could not accept that she’d been fired from the salon.
What started as a normal haircut turned into a standoff between reason and pure delusion — the kind of thing only hairstylists could experience and still find funny.
👵 Meet Mary: The Client Time Forgot
Mary, a well-dressed woman in her 60s, walked into Jason’s salon with a manila envelope.
Never a good sign.
Inside? Printed photos of herself from 30 years ago — complete with 90s hair, thick texture, and a face that hadn’t yet been lifted and tucked by time.
Jason knew exactly what was coming:
“She wanted her 1997 haircut back… and maybe her 1997 face too.”
He tried to explain the obvious — that no one, not even the best Beverly Hills stylist, can recreate 1990s hair on 2020s biology. But Mary was determined.
After showing multiple photos (each more impossible than the last), she ended the consultation with those dreaded words every stylist fears:
“Let’s do the best we can.”
Cue the anxiety.
✂️ The Three Layers That Broke a Stylist
As the cut progressed, it became clear Mary’s expectations lived in an alternate reality.
She kept pointing at the photos, insisting Jason reproduce “the three layers” from the old pictures.
Problem? Those “layers” were just random flips in the hair caused by wind and a blow dryer.
“She literally counted the waves in her photo and decided that meant three layers. I can’t make physics happen with a pair of shears.”
When Jason gently pointed this out, Mary lost it. She wanted those layers. No logic, no reasoning — just pure, nostalgic madness.
That’s when Jason did what many stylists dream of but rarely do… he fired her.
🚫 You’re Fired, Lady
After the outburst, Jason removed her cape and said, “I’m not the right person for your hair. We’re done.”
He walked her to the front desk, told the receptionist, “No charge — she’s fired.”
Mary, confused, lingered for five long minutes before leaving. And for a moment, peace was restored.
Or so he thought.
💀 The Return of Fired Mary
Five weeks later, Jason checked his schedule and nearly choked.
Mary was back on his books.
When he confronted her, she smiled and said she was “confused” about what happened before.
Jason: “I told you not to come back. You literally got a free haircut because I didn’t want to owe you anything.”
Mary: “Oh, I thought that meant you liked me.”
At this point, Jason started questioning reality — or at least his life choices. But against all odds (and his better judgment), he let her stay.
💇♀️ Round Two: Déjà Vu in a Robe
Like a bad sequel, the manila envelope came out again.
Same photos. Same impossible requests.
Jason stopped her mid-sentence.
“Nope. I know what to do. We’re doing exactly what I did last time — the haircut you said you liked.”
Mary: “Okay… but can we talk about the layers?”
At that point, the entire salon staff froze. Jason powered through, finished the cut, charged her (this time), and watched her leave the worst 10% tip in salon history.
He looked at his co-workers and said what every hairstylist has felt at least once:
“Why do I do this to myself?”
🧠 The Stylist’s Dilemma: Compassion vs. Chaos
What made the story stick wasn’t just the comedy — it’s the deeper hairstylist truth.
Sometimes, clients aren’t just difficult. They’re lonely, aging, and holding onto a version of themselves that doesn’t exist anymore.
Jason admits he even wondered if Mary might be struggling with dementia.
“Part of me felt bad for her… but part of me just needed her out of my chair.”
It’s the eternal stylist struggle — balancing empathy with self-preservation.
💵 The Donation Dilemma: When Generosity Backfires
In the same episode, Jason and Jack also rant about another type of salon headache: donation requests.
After years of giving free haircuts for charity auctions, Jason realized that generosity doesn’t always return.
When he asked clients to donate for his son’s school walk-a-thon?
Only one person responded.
“So guess what? Donations are over. If you want a haircut for your fundraiser, buy a gift certificate. The charity of free labor is closed.”
It’s a hilarious but painfully true take on how stylists are constantly expected to give — even when no one gives back.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
Want to hear the full unfiltered chaos (and Jason’s amazing storytelling voice)?
You can listen to the Fired Mary episode on your favorite platform:
🎙 Spotify
🍏 Apple Podcasts
📸 Instagram
00:00:00] What are you
doing here? I live here. Not anymore. You don't?
Hello. Welcome back to another episode. Jack, you're here.
I am here.
Well, you're there. Well, you're in Denver. I'm in Seattle. How are you?
I'm okay.
In case everyone didn't know, Jack's in Denver. I'm in Seattle. I think everyone knows now.
no,
Uh, let's see here guys. Thank you so much for listening. Last week, uh, numbers have been just growing and going up higher.
Uh, thanks for supporting us. Subscribe, like, uh, find us on TikTok, on Instagram. Uh, tell your friends about us. The show has been growing incredibly. We wanna thank you so much for that. So, uh, definitely go through and, uh, help us get us to the next level. We really appreciate that. With that. Let's get up to the [00:01:00] first story.
Got rid of some dirty laundry there. Let's create some more dirty laundry. What do you say?
lay it on me.
I got some. I got some. I got some this week.
What's happening at this alarm, Jason?
a little hot. I'm a little hot right now. I have to, I have to admit, before I even turn on the cameras, it was like, did you feel the steam all the way over there? Yeah, exactly.
Something's ruining, I can tell,
Yeah, you what? We have talked about firing people. We have talked about firing clients. Remember that there was one client that we talked about that I had clients not,
who work there.
not staff. This time it wasn't staff. This is a client, you know, and one of the hardest things to do sometimes is to fire a client, you know, especially when they don't understand.
we had a episode that we talked about a client who I had a fire, like nearly like four times. She changed her name to come back to the salon. She used her daughter's name. It was like, she just didn't fucking get it,
Yeah.
know? And um,
oh [00:02:00] no. He got it.
she got it.
you
Yes, she understood that she'd been fired.
Yeah,
I had a client this week who did not understand that she got fired. Now, I don't know how much fucking clear I can make for her, but she did not get it. So let me back up to five weeks ago to when she first came into the salon. She comes in and this is a lady, she, she's gotta be like maybe her mid sixties or so, you know, and.
Okay, so
about mid sixties. Um,
on the older side you
little in the old, eh, little, little, not too bad. You mean my mom's 81 and you wouldn't be able to tell, you know, she's like a very young 81-year-old, you know, this woman, she was like, my mom could definitely outpace her and she's probably like 15 years on her, that's for sure.
But
so
she, uh, no, I don't know. I wanna say outta shape. She's a little slower. You know what I mean? Maybe the arthritis has gotten her a bit, I [00:03:00] don't know.
How did she Smell? Good or bad.
Yeah, no, she was clean. You know what I mean? Yeah. It wasn't like a foul od or anything. My clients aren't like that. Okay. I don't know what, I dunno what kind of hair you do over there in Denver, but
there's a lot of mountain hippies here and they don't bathe regularly.
Yeah.
Those
we What do you, what do you do with the older clients? Just send 'em out to pasture out there in Denver. What's going?
we send them outside
Yeah, you smell like manure. Go out to pasture. You're done. Get outta here. Yeah.
those aren't the ones that I do anyway, so, um, they live up in the mountains. They don't,
Yeah. You stay up there.
Yeah.
Yeah, stay up there. No, this, no, I mean, she was very well dressed, very put together. our salon's not cheap. We don't have like, you know, dirty hippies walking in, so.
Good.
She comes walking by, we, I get her changed into a robe. We walked her back to my station and she pulls out this large manila envelope, and I'm like, oh fuck.
Okay, [00:04:00] well, let's see it. I know what's in here. I know what's in here. You know what I mean? No, I knew. I knew. She starts breaking out the photos. Right? And so instead of it being in her phone.
Not on her phone.
No, she broke out the HP printer paper. You know what I mean? And just like photos of herself from like 30 years ago.
Oh, so these were ones, they were never digital? they were printed out
long ago.
No, no, no. They were definitely digital at one point, but then she had them printed out on her own printer, put 'em in an envelope that you could tell that she's been like, you know, side sighting at these things for a while, and she bust 'em out on me.
Okay.
I'm like, fuck, I haven't done this in a long time.
You know what I mean? But close to like 30 years as someone brought in a photo, they printed out on their HP at home. But I'm like, okay, let's take a look. So we're taking a look at the photos, because normally everyone uses the phone nowadays, you know what I mean? Get it on your goddamn phone.
So she's showing me these [00:05:00] haircuts, right? And usually you we're talking about like one or two, and we kind of go off of like, you know, Hey, this is what I like from this photograph, and she's showing me photos of herself though. From 30 years ago, 25 to 30 years ago. And she kept repeating that she had a boyfriend back then that was a photographer.
And I'm like, okay. Besides the point, but Okay.
she misses
it
I
definitely,
Yeah, so wait, really 30 years
yeah, it was her like 30 years ago from the nineties. Yeah, absolutely.
or something. Okay.
So I'm looking at the photos and I'm like, okay, so like you want, you know the length in this photo, that's fine. You want the layers of this photo?
Yeah.
She goes, yes, okay. I'm like, so, and then you want kinda like the texture of the next photo fine.
You know what I mean? But I'm like, we are looking at three different types of haircuts though, so we gotta need mix 'em all together. Well, number one, number two. You don't have the same hair as from th 30 years [00:06:00] ago, you know, and I wanna make this very clear right now that I cannot make your hair look exactly the same as 30 years ago.
She goes, no, I understand that. I'm like, okay. I wanna make sure that we're clear about that.
Does
I
okay.
make you look like 1997. what I can do is I can go through and take what you got now and make it as close as possible. Alright. But here's the thing. And I'm like, you are not the same person.
you look different. Your hair is much thinner now than it was back then. She had this nice, thick hair. But not only that, I'm like, you've had a facelift and I'm pointing all this out to her, by the way. You know what I mean? And so like, you know, the face where it's like the, that.
not something you mention. So
did. I wanted to make sure because she was being very specific on what she wanted, so I wanted be very specific on what I could give her and what she should expect.
And I kinda already had this feeling at this point. You know what I mean? When I'm consulting with her, you kind of know when someone is kinda like, you can [00:07:00] feel like, could they be competitive later on? Yes.
Yeah.
So I had to make sure that I, and I explained to her nicely at this point. You know what I mean? I'm like, here's what you can expect.
So I don't want you coming back at me saying it doesn't look like this photo, because it's not, that is not going to happen, number one. Number two, you don't have that same hair. Number three, I'm not the person who did your hair back then. she was like, okay.
Yeah.
and it is always when the consultation always ends with, well, let's do the best we can.
I'm like, oh fuck. You already set me up for failure on this one, aren't you? A little bit the best we can. I'm like, with what you got, we definitely will. so I topped that con, that comment, you know, I was like, all right, so we get her shampooed and I'm cutting her hair and it was like an old conversation down a dusty lane from, you know, amnesia lane that we took about, you know, 1990s or wherever, you know, that we had talked about, which was fine.
So we started blow drying our hair.
Make me 1997 again.
I wanna be [00:08:00] 1997 again too. You know what I mean? Fuck it. Why not? It was a good time.
it.
Yeah. So we go through and we, I finished a haircut. I'm finishing the blow dry, you know, and she's like, let's go back to the photos. And I'm like, oh fuck, here we go. I knew we were off at this point, when she starts wanting to go back to revisit the photos, I'm like, okay.
She breaks 'em out again and we're, and she's like, show me these three photos. She was like, I want the layers like this. And I'm like, again, I'm all, we have the layers like that. Look at your hair, you know, but it's not sitting exactly the same. I go, I know that, and we did discuss that. You don't have the same hair as back then.
It's different. Your hair is different now. We're gonna do the best that we can with what you have now.
Mm-hmm.
She was like, but I wanted this. And I go, I understand what you want, but what you have are two different things now. I'm like, not only that though, I'm like, here's the thing, your body, there is not one cell and [00:09:00] your body is exactly the same.
After seven years, your body's completely rejuven, uh, rejuvenated. You know, I'm, I am like, you don't have even the same. I'm like, so your hair, your, your, it's not producing the same, not only that. Did you have the gray hair back then? No. I'm all right. So it's a different texture too. So I'm contending with a different texture.
I did not cut your hair, but then I cannot make your hair look like a haircut that someone else gave you unless you find that person again to have them cut your hair.
Hmm,
And she goes, I don't think you understand. And I'm like, I don't think I'm the one that needs to understand. And she was like, she then looked at me and she was just like, I just want to have the three layers, like in this photo.
And I go, oh, fuck me. There aren't
layers. Okay.
There's no such thing as three layers. Can you show me the three? What she was showing me is the way she had a blow dried in the photo or the way the wind hit it, and the each little tear that kind of went down from how the layers were moving away from her face.
She counted those and considered those three layers.
three of 'em,
Correct.
the three flips.
[00:10:00] And how do you not understand that? and I was like, oh, fuck me. I'm like.
not that, Jason?
I know, I'm wondering myself, how I didn't understand it, So we're sitting here and I'm like, great, you know, of course she has the fucking photos out and she's trying to flip through them nervously. 'cause she doesn't know what to fucking say.
And then she throws the photos down and she's like, I just want my hair to do this. And Macy's like, little devil horns, right? Makes him like, stick up. And I go, I, I can't do, I go, you want a what?
possessed
Oh, and she's yelling at me now. I want this, I want to do this. I don't understand why. You can't understand why it won't do this.
Okay,
And I finally was like, okay, you wanna know what? We're done. We're done. I've had enough. I'm gonna let you know right now. I'm definitely not the right person to do your hair.
I'm sorry, but I'm, we're done. I am done. I'm starting to take the cape off, and she goes, well, do you know someone better than you that can go through and do my hair the way I want it? I went,
Oh.
oh, fuck
[00:11:00] Go yourself is what did you say that?
I literally, I just bit my tongue and I watch her the front and I go, there's no charge, no charge for the haircut. I'm not the right person to cut your hair. I just want you to leave. We are done here. Do you understand that?
Hmm.
Uh, yeah. You know the person at the front desk and I'm like, look at them.
And I go, could you hear what I said? Yes. Make sure she understands that I'm gonna go clean my station. Goodbye. I turn around and I walk away.
Okay.
of the partners of the salon also colors this woman's hair and she's listening to the whole thing and she's like giving me these, what the fuck eyes.
well that's
You know, like, what's going on?
And I'm like, I'll talk to you later. And I just kept walking.
this was, uh, the first time you'd. Turn her haircut. Right.
ever,
Okay.
And so she's at the front desk and she's like, they're like, there's no charge. Jason says, you didn't like your hair, so there's no charge.
Mm-hmm.
She's standing confused like, I don't know what to do. And they were like, there's no charge. You should [00:12:00] leave. He asked you to please leave. There's no charge for the haircuts.
Goodbye. So, I mean, after her standing up there for like, I dunno, like five, seven minutes, she finally just walked out the door without paying, you know, and we have the discussion afterwards. I, I'm talking.
her to do that. It just took her
While to process that. Someone that, oh, someone a hairdresser, some little hairdresser walked over to her and was just kinda like, no, I'm not taking your shit, by the way.
She doesn't have the control anymore,
Correct.
he doesn't know how to handle it.
pretty much.
She's like, huh.
So afterwards I'm telling everyone what happened. You know what I mean? I'm like, and I told the partner, the salon, I'm like, I don't want her back. I'm off. She comes, she booked a color appointment the next week, you know, and then she bitched about me and told me, you know, told was how horrible of a person I was and everything.
And I'm like, I don't fucking care,
Yeah.
you know? And in fact, I heard that she was saying that someone told me. So I walked by and said, hi, just to be a dick. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
like, you know, I was in [00:13:00] passing. I'm like, hi. And kept on walking. so then.
I have said, Hey, it was to see you,
or just be all
I probably shouldn't have done that though. And I'll tell you why. Five weeks go by and guess who's in the, salon. Mary and I didn't look at my books that I looked at my books and you see name after name after name, and you're not thinking like, oh my God.
on your books.
Here's the person I fired five weeks ago.
She is back on my books.
Oh my
Yeah,
Probably because you said hi to her.
exactly. That's what I'm saying. But I should said hi.
You're right. You
I fucked up. It was my fault. Right. You know, so I'm sitting, I'm, and it doesn't really dawn on me. Yeah, it, yeah, it doesn't dawn on me who she is until I look at my phone and I see the entire name pop up because I'm just, the day of, you're just scanning who's on there, right?
And you're kinda seeing the hours and, okay, I see who's on [00:14:00] here. the, the name pops up. And I went, what? This must be a mistake. So I go walking up to the front and she's there and she sees me and she stands up like, I'm getting, like getting ready to put a robe on. I went, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, what are you doing? She goes, what? I said, no, you need to sit back down. She goes, excuse me. I'm like, yeah, you, we need to have a talk. Well, what are you doing here? She goes, I'm here for a haircut. I said, with who? She goes, well, with you. And I said, why? She goes, I have an appointment with you. And I'm like, are you not clear about what happened five weeks ago?
And she goes, no. I left quite confused. And I'm like, really? You left confused.
Huh.
Well, yeah. I go What part were you confused about? I, well, because I clearly told you that I was the wrong person to do your hair. In fact, right afterwards you said, if I knew someone better than me that could do your hair, you remember this?
And she looked at me and she goes, [00:15:00] no. I go, you hated your hair the last time you were here.
she's acting like.
Like. I that never, that conversation never happened. Like it didn't happen. So, you know those people who live in a completely fantasy land, you know what I mean? Where it's just like all the, all the bad things around them are, are just like a fantasy and they only hear the things they wanna hear.
Maybe things like that happens so often. It's like, no big deal. and, doesn't take any of it seriously. You know? It's like he just rushes it off like they're voices in her head. He might have
Yeah, she might.
might have that. I'm, um, can you just send her to me?
Oh, I would love to.
I'll
I would love to. Yeah, I'm sure you would.
I would
Yeah.
I'm gonna give her three layers too.
You know, you know those three layers?
Uhhuh.
Do you name 'em?
I
Do they have names?
what
Peter, Paul, and Mary. What the fuck?
I'm, I'm gonna go, I'm so happy you're here. Jason has no idea what he's doing. I know what you're three layers [00:16:00] are.
I knew you were the name I should have given her. Do I know someone better than me? I do. His name's Jack. And I am sitting there in the waiting area with her going like, you're absolutely insane. we had this conversation. I'm like, I did not charge you for the haircut because you said you didn't like it.
Do you not remember that? She goes, oh no, it was a fine haircut. I go, I know that. I know it was a fine haircut. I'm all, but you were telling me that you did not like it. That I didn't do things right. and then, and when I told you that I am not the right person to do it, you didn't understand that? in fact, I didn't even charge you for the haircut. Do you understand why I did not charge you for the haircut? She goes, that was very confusing to me. the reason I didn't charge you is because I didn't wanna owe you something. I just want you to leave. I want you not to come back.
In fact, I said don't come back. I'm the [00:17:00] wrong person to do your hair. I don't wanna do it. I said that and now you're here.
you messed up her whole plan. she pays you and then in three days she walks in again it's not right.
That's what, and I knew. That's exactly what I didn't charge her, you know, is I didn't wanna, I didn't wanna owe her something, and I knew if I charged her, I knew she would take it to the next level. I'd get phone call after phone call, I'm like, I am not going down this road. Well, I guess I, I should have just charged her because it came right back to me, I'm, I'm like, I'm not gonna do your hair. And she's like, I'm here. I need it cut. I really liked it. And I'm like, fuck. I fucking did it. I fucking did it.
You did her
I cut her. Yeah, I did it.
fucking pussy.
I, I know
wrong
did it.
You're,
I don't know, I don't know if it was to prove to myself that I know I did a good haircut or to her, but I was like, listen, I'm all, we are not gonna have [00:18:00] a repeat of what happened five weeks ago.
Am I clear? Can you repeat this back to me? I do this to my five-year-old son. By the, I make him repeat the things I say back to me to make sure he understands them clearly. So now I'm treating her like a five-year-old. I'm like, repeat it back to me. We will, you will not do the exact same thing as you did last time.
You will not scream at me. In fact, you are not even gonna talk while I cut your hair.
tell
all because you're getting charged. I'm like, you're getting charged no matter what. This time you have an appointment on the books. I'm like, so I might as well cut your hair since you're here. I'm like, unless you don't want, I have you walk away screaming and crying and kicking and shit.
You know, like a 5-year-old. But
you would've, left, you would've charged her
yeah, she took another, she, she took another appointment clearly knowing I didn't want her back.
And to, to hit her haircut. Had you also her last haircut that you didn't her
No, no. I thought [00:19:00] I, I figure that's in the past, I'm, I'm like, whatever, I, I don't. I don't need the fucking money. You know what I mean? I, I like, I'm, I'm there for the money, you know, mean, but it was like, at this point I'm like, I don't, yeah. But I'm not gonna go through and be like, I'm gonna charge you for the last time.
And this time, you know, I'm like, I just wanna be fucking clear with you that if you do anything that's gonna piss me off mid haircut or not, you're out. You are out. Do you understand me? Do you wanna repeat that back to me? And she was like, no, I get it. She goes back to my chair and she sits down and that fucking envelope comes out, and I go, you are joking, right?
I go, you're joking, right? She goes, well, I wanted to make sure that we're on the same page. I'm like, oh, we're on the same page.
it's the same routine.
Yeah.
must have dementia.
I think so. I think so.
like she's
kind of feeling a little bit bad for her because I'm like, is this the beginning stages of dementia? I don't know. It could be.
it's even, uh, the beginning. I, I
Yeah.
think it's like midway.
[00:20:00] So she pulls out the photos. I said, no. Oh, well we're gonna get you shampooed. I know exactly what you do to do to your hair. I'm like, because I did it the last time and you told me you liked it. So that's exactly what we're gonna do. I don't want to talk about this.
Yeah.
fact, we're already running behind because you wasted my time with this whole weird fucking conversation we had to have at the beginning about why you were even here.
So let's get shampooed. And the girls at the salon are like, holy shit. And if you don't, you know me, Jack. I talk to people like this. Clients that are gonna be like, they're gonna waste my time and waste at my Uhuh. I will talk to you like this, and all the girls at the salon are like, holy fuck.
And they knew exactly who it was once I started talking to her. 'cause they've heard the conversation in the back room
it was a big fucking deal. You know,
he must
she
this or. She
must enjoy it.
or, she's just used to it. I, think things are like this throughout her whole life. So, [00:21:00] um, this is
is just
one more thing.
Thursday. Yeah, just Thursday. You know? So, finish the haircut, blow it dry. Done. And she goes in and I go, Nope, nope. Don't, don't, don't, don't. We're done. I'm all with exact same haircut. I blew it dry the exact same way. I'm all, the only thing I'm not gonna do is hit it with a curdling iron.
Bloody. You do that at home. I'm all, I don't have time right now. I'm also, let's go to the front and I go to the front. I charge her for the haircut. Leaves me the world shittiest tip. The worst tip you can give somebody you like 10%, you know, which is like 10% is kind of telling someone you didn't do good work.
But I was like, you know, know what? Goodbye.
Why do you this to yourself? Just ban
don't know. I know I
Get rid of this
Hopefully she got the hint at this point. Let's, let's see what happens. If she comes back, I'll let you know.
[00:22:00]
Yeah. And we're back.
Yeah. And that's good.
Mm-hmm. Alright,
so, uh, I have a five-year-old who's now in kindergarten and we had our very first walk on. Walkathon,
what is that exactly?
It's basically for the kids to raise money for the school because the school's broke or the system is broke. I don't know.
You know, every, every, we need, they, the school's always, they're just making up for something. Who knows. So what do they do?
Do they walk somewhere?
Yeah. No, they do, they walk around in a big, off, off a big circle on the school campus. On the, on the
soccer pitch. Jason, Hey, watch me walk over here to another room.
Uh, $20, please. No,
why
not?
Because it goes to you. It doesn't go to the school. This goes to my son's school.
Well, that's, I know it's Helly. Anyway,
anyhow. I know. I, [00:23:00] it is what it is. The kids had a great time. They got like a fucking t-shirt and a sticker. I know he loved it. It's just, you know, the parents are there and.
And they know, they walk around. I know, know. And they have an ice cream. It's an event. Cream event. It's an event. And they had a, it's a whole event, fucking blast event. They had a really good time. So they walked out? Yeah, they walked out. They did walk. Oh yeah, he did. I don't know how many laps. Quite a few.
All right. So you know how you, you donate per lap. You every lap that they do, then you give them money for every lap that they did. And so, um, I, for years have been hit up by my clients.
For donations, right? So
guess what? Now it's my turn. Yeah. I get to go through and hit up all my clients, make it for donations, you know, and I
put a little side hustle going,
put a social media post out, send it on my, on my private social media, on uh, also on my [00:24:00] business, one Told clients about it.
Send it all out. Guess how many? I got
I got 1% of that
one.
One. I got one donation. And you wanna what? I have to go through, give a shout. Who was it? I give a shout out to one of our listeners. Kathleen, your mom.
I, she donated to grandma?
No, I'm talking about clients or like, but one of our listeners, Catherine, who lives up in Canada.
Thank you. I know you're listening. Um, she tried to donate and couldn't get through. I don't know, I, something happened, but, Hey, you wanna what? She made the effort. She sent an email and, uh, or sent a message to dm. Thank you so much for trying though. I really appreciate it.
So, just one, one person. Did you talk about this, uh, to them at the salon or just Yeah.
Posted online? Both. And no one was interested? No. Interesting. Okay.
I know, and over the [00:25:00] years, how many times they ruined it, people have hit you up for donations. Oh, and it's always for like, oh, it's for the school. Oh, it's for the arts department. It's for the music department. You know, can you go through and give like a free haircut and a free color?
Oh, no. And of course you're like, you're like, yeah, sure, I could do that. Working haircuts. No. No, we've done it. We've done it before. I know we've, that's what I'm saying. Over the years we've done it multiple times. The reason I will never do it again. So now it's my turn. Mm-hmm. To go through and ask my clients and one came through and that is it.
So guess what? Donations are now? Over. Over. No more donating done. We are done with the, I'm done with the donations. I am no longer gonna be giving out donations from the salon for a haircut. And the thing of it though is that they always kind of try to pressure you. Like, oh, well this will go through and bring you new clients.
I don't need em. I'm good. Says who? [00:26:00]
That never works. It never works. I've done those, like somebody buys them at an auction. Yep. The salon through their school or something and they give it away. Yeah. For like one of their nieces or somebody like a housekeeper or,
that was the last one that I did. I got a housekeeper.
I actually did. Yeah, I had someone give it. They bought, they paid for the, the donation. Wow. They bought the haircut certificate. Or gift certificate. Mm-hmm. And then they gave it to their housekeeper. And I'm like, okay, so the whole point of this of me donating was to go through and like let, let's just say it wasn't even me.
Let's just say it's first one of the new kids who needs to build up their clientele. So the owner's gonna be like, Hey, by the way, we're gonna go through and give it to this charity and then we're gonna go through and give it or to a don some donation outta school. And that way you can go through and do a couple of free haircuts and you start building up your clientele when they're giving you, doesn't work that way.
It never does. It [00:27:00] never works out. So when you're doing the housekeeper or the housekeeper's daughter or whatever it is, you know what I mean? You're not ke, you're not building a clientele. You're just
using it to get a haircut, and you will never see them again. Ever, never. Unless,
and the person that you have another intended to go to.
Donations are typical, you know?
And the person that you wanted to come in, they don't come in, you know? Yeah. Even when you say non-transferrable. You could put that on there. You know what I mean? They don't fucking care.
No. You know, so it's like, you know, it's, don't even waste your time
with that shit.
Exactly. So from now on, anybody that comes in asking for a donation, I will be walking you to the front and I can show you where you can buy a gift certificate. 'cause I will not give away my work for free. Especially when I hit up the people and they got the email saying, Hey, we have. A walk-a-thon for my son and you decided [00:28:00] not to donate.
Guess what? The next time you come hit me up. Buy a gift certificate. Do not hit me up for a donation 'cause it will not happen ever again.
Something I realized about things like that, it's just one more way to guilt somebody out of their money. Yeah, it's just a creative way to get money out of people.
That's it. And these, and these PTA parents that are on here as well though too, they're on the, the pressure is on them to go through and find these like things so people can bid on at the silent auctions at the schools, and they don't want, they don't wanna pay for it, so they're trying to get it all for free.
Hit up the fucking parents man. And so like, Hey, you go buy a gift certificate at like a day spa, or a hair salon, or Topgolf, or whatever it is. Then you donate that and then hopefully something someone bids, so it goes to the school. Don't ask someone for something for free and then do the whole, like you're saying, the [00:29:00] whole guilt trip afterwards and try to guilt them into, you know, that's all it is.
Look what's gonna happen for you. I'm gonna build your business, this and that. The house, no, you're not the five year kids not coming back
business. Yeah, that is not. That's the thing. It's like, um, how'd you get this certificate? I don't know. Someone just handed did, I mean, I was laying on the sidewalk.
Yeah. And they're like, you need a haircut? Thanks. Yeah. Thanks
miss. This was my tip when I was working the valet.
Yeah. You know what
I mean? It's like, no, like
I parked somebody's car and they handed me this. I wanted cash.
Yeah, but I guess I'm getting a haircut instead.
Yeah. Oh my god. You know what, this'll never end.
No. People will never learn about this and they think it's a great idea to donate, and they're like, oh, it's just new people know about us. No.
It. [00:30:00] They'll find you. If they need you, they'll find you. You know? But not only that though, the areas that you and I have worked at have probably have to be some of the most wealthiest areas in the nation.
And these people are hitting us up for free donations so their kids can go through and have a music class, go buy them a fucking trombone. You know, I, you need my donation. You have all the money you could go through and fund the entire art program. How much fucking paper mache do you need? But I mean, it's like,
fucking Elton John is your neighbor.
Go knock on his door and ask him for lessons. Don't ask me. You did have a client that lived next door to Elton John. That's right, Tom. Uh, yeah. So yeah,
these are the people hitting us up and I'm like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You have all the money in the world and you're asking me for something for free, that's fucking amazing.[00:31:00]
I don't think so.
That's
fucked up
because what exactly.
So from now on, guys, guess what? Gift certificate. Go buy one.
Go.
And now it's time for shit ology Jason for those shit idiots who just don't quite get it. Hand them a card explaining in more detail why they're no longer welcome. Yes, you have been fired. No, this is not opposite day. You have been shit canned. In other words, get out, scram, get lost. Fuck off. You are not allowed to play with these toys anymore.
Get the fuck outside you bad girl. Now look what you've done. You made your mother cry. Get outta here and for the rest of you, we now have gift cards for sale at shit. I told my hairdresser.com. [00:32:00] And with that, stay shitty and see you next time.
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