"Complete the Beast" & Cocaine Cowboys: Wildest Salon Stories Yet

Welcome back to Shit I Told My Hairdresser*, where no story is too bizarre, too dark, or too WTF to share. This episode features:
🔥 A listener’s insane email about a secret salon ritual involving naked women, cow’s blood, and a butt plug with a ponytail.
🔥 Jason’s Bedhead days in Calgary, where half the hairdressing industry got arrested in a cocaine raid before a live TV segment.
🔥 Jack’s Canadian airport detainment—because nothing says "welcome to Canada" like a three-hour interrogation over microscopic drug residue.

Buckle up, listener persons—this one’s unhinged.

"Complete the Beast": The Secret Salon Ritual That Defies Explanation

A listener (codename: Hard Hat) sent us an email detailing his time working at an all-male "social club" salon run by a self-proclaimed "Godfather" who fancied himself a mix of Eyes Wide Shut and Old School.

The Ritual Breakdown:

  • 10 men in suits were gathered for a secret society initiation.

  • A naked woman (the "Priestess") entered, leading another naked woman (the "Beast") on a leash, wearing a bull mask and a butt plug with a ponytail.

  • The Beast bent over the bar, the Priestess "completed" her (use your imagination), and the Godfather spat cow’s blood on her chest.

  • Each member signed an oath in blood, leaving thumbprints in the notebook.

The Aftermath:

  • The women were "enthusiastic participants" (allegedly).

  • The salon eventually collapsed because the Godfather was "more of an idea guy than a businessman."

  • Hard Hat still wonders if that blood-stained oath book exists somewhere.

Jason’s Take:
"This sounds like an Eyes Wide Shut gone wrong. Who the fuck does this at a salon?!"

Jack’s Concern:
"Where do you even find these women? Craigslist? ‘Beasts Wanted’ ads?"

Cocaine Cowboys: When a Hair Show in Calgary Turned Into a Police Raid

Back in Jason’s Bedhead days, he was sent to Calgary, Canada, for a massive hair show during the city’s legendary Stampede festival.

What Went Down:

  • The night before a live TV segment, hairdressers from top brands (Paul Mitchell, Toni & Guy) were invited to a hotel party with "nose-scratching"暗示 (wink wink).

  • Jason wisely bowed out, but the rest of the team partied hard.

  • Police raided the hotel at 4:30 AM, arresting half the industry for cocaine possession.

  • The next morning, Jason’s 3-minute TV spot turned into 10 minutes because no one else showed up.

Lesson Learned:
Canadians don’t mess around—especially when Americans treat their country like Vegas 2.0.

Jack’s Canadian Airport Detainment: "Residue" Drama

Speaking of Canada… Jack once got detained for 3 hours at a Canadian airport because:

  • Police found microscopic drug residue on his driver’s license and shaving kit.

  • His driver waited outside with a sign that allegedly said "Cokehead Abernathy" (Jack denies this).

  • He was released without charges, but the experience left him traumatized (and mildly impressed by Canadian efficiency).

Moral of the Story:
If you’re gonna do stupid shit, at least clean your toiletries.

Why You Should Listen to This Episode

✅ Unfiltered industry insanity—no names named, but plenty of tea spilled.
✅ True crime meets salon drama—because reality is stranger than fiction.
✅ Dark humor—we laugh so we don’t cry.

🔊 Listen now on:

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Got a WTF salon story? We want to hear it!
📩 Submit your tales: shititoldmyhairdresser.com
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Pro Tip: If you loved this episode, tell 10 friends. If you hated it, tell 20—because chaos is our brand.

Stay shitty, listener persons. 😎